Now You've Done It
by Pure-HP
Summary: Buffy once again takes her anger out on Spike, only this time it lands him in a wheelchair (again) and she is left to take care of him. This includes him staying at her house. What will come off it? (duh!) By the way, It's a BS
1. How It All Begins

**Title:** Now You've Done It

**Author:** Pure-HP

**Disclaimer:** All the character you recognise are the work of the brilliant Joss Whedon and his gang of creators. I own the storyline – that is all.

**Rating: **PG-13****

**Summary: **Buffy once again takes her anger out on Spike, only this time it lands him in a wheelchair (again) and she is left to take care of him. This includes him staying at her house. What will come off it? (duh!)

**A/N: **This story will most certainly be long. So far, I have not finished any of my other fics but I will definitely get this one done because I just need to see it in writing. :) Happy reading guys. Oh and by the by, there has been no Spuffy 'sex' at all. This is after Giles leaves in 'Tabula Rasa'. She obviously knows that Spike loves her though. No angst about her resurrection as it's terribly depressing.

P.S. I love James Marsters.

**Chapter 1: How It All Begins**

"Dawn," Buffy said, slightly detachedly "I think it's some ones bedtime."

Dawn looked at the clock and then back at her sister "Buffy! It's only eleven o'clock and I am 15 years old. This is totally unfair!" but seeing Buffy's face, she groaned and got up. There was no point in arguing with that face, it was about as bad as her mum's, only her mum wasn't here anymore. The thought saddened Dawn so she put it to the back of her mind and went to brush her teeth and then get to bed.

Buffy looked at Willow and Tara "Sunnydale standby calls." She got up off of her place on the carpet and made her way to her weapons chest. Grabbed her stake and cross as always and headed out of the door only stopping when Willow began to speak. 

"Do you want up to go with?"

Buffy smiled sadly and shook her head. "I think I can manage a couple of vampires and no doubt, a certain annoying vampire, with no other point in life but to disrupt mine, will make himself available to 'help'!" Buffy rolled her eyes and left, closing the door on Willow's grin.

Buffy tried to haul herself out of this depression. Why did everyone she loved leave? Her dad, Angel, Riley and Giles. In that order. If only Spike would do that. She would gladly trade him for all the men that had left her, all the people that she actually loved, not just put up with.

Buffy stopped, she sensed something. She turned and saw Xander walking towards her. "Oh hey Buff. Patrolling again?"

Buffy nodded "As always. Why, may I ask, are you out here this late at night? There are undead things walking around ask we speak."

Xander rolled his eyes. "I'm sure he's in his crypt Buff."

"I meant the other, less annoying, more killable and way more evil vampires."

"I wanted a walk and Anya was talking about her money again and she had hat look in her eye. You know that one? Where she wants to introduce then to me personally."

Buffy nodded, "Well do you want to come and help slay some evil undead?"

Xander shook his head "Told Anya that I was only heading out for ice-cream, I'm needed back at home."

"Right then, see you tomorrow."

"Count on it."

Xander in turn, turned and departed.

Buffy entered the cemetery and immediately wished that she hadn't. Spike was already there, fighting two vampires and obviously winning. There was no way that she could leave now though, her job was to kill vampires and she wouldn't shun that, even with Spike there. No matter how much she didn't like Spike, she couldn't kill him. He didn't kill anymore nor could he defend himself against humans without severe neurological pain.

She raised her stake and aimed it at the evil (unchipped) undead. She hit the vampire in the chest and he was dust, leaving Spike to dust the one he was fighting. Having done that, he turned to face her.

"You know Spike, with you here, there is absolutely no reason for me to patrol anymore." She gave him a disgusted look. It was quite safe to say that he didn't deserve it but Buffy just couldn't break old habits. After all, the first time she had met him, he had tried to kill her; and then some.

"Yeah, but you just love to come here and patrol with me. You just find me irresistible." He gave her his trademark cocky grin. Buffy rolled her eyes.

"Spike, I came here to avoid you. Do you realise that your crypt isn't in this cemetery? I figured that you would stay in your own." She started to walk away and Spike fell instep with her.

"And yet you fail to say that you don't find me irresistible."

Buffy turned to him, her annoyance rising "I figured that that went without saying!" She stomped off.

"God Slayer, what's got your knickers in a twist?" He asked as he fell instep with her once again.

She swivelled around, her anger and pain at Giles leaving her and the fact that no matter how much she hurt Spike, physically and emotionally, he still wouldn't go away, came pouring out. She dropped her stake and punched him so hard that he flew 20 ft in the air and hit a tombstone, shattering it. "You have. Why do you have to keep professing your love to me? I don't believe you and doubt that you even know what you feel. I hate you Spike!"

He stood up, lip bleeding, and came back to stand in front of her. "Do you want me to hit you back Buffy? Do you want a fight? Well I'm sorry but I won't be a part of it. I will not hit you."

Buffy shrugged got down and kicked the back of his legs, bringing him down hard. "I can deal with that!"

Spike looked up at her; there was no other way he could look at her. He didn't even put up a defence. "This isn't just about me is it?"

She shrugged and punched him in the face again and again and again. He was starting to bleed really badly. He punches weren't light and she wasn't letting up. He struggled to his feet, slightly disoriented and in pain. Buffy spun around and connected with a roundhouse kick to his midsection. He went down, coughing up blood. He looked up at her. Blood in his eyes too, leaving a truly gruesome picture. "Make you feel better Slayer? Beating on someone who refuses to fight back? Doesn't matter anyway, I'll still love you."

Buffy stopped, he wasn't helping, only making her angrier but as she went to pick up a piece of the broken headstone, her last thought before she threw it on his legs, a dead target, was that he knew that. She also knew that he meant what he said.

He never screamed, not when the tombstone shattered across both legs or as the ominous crunching that was more than just the tombstone breaking, rang across the cemetery.

With tears of frustration ran down her face, Buffy picked up her stake, turned and ran all the way home and to bed.

*               *               *               *               *

Buffy woke up feeling terrible and it took her a moment to figure out exactly why. Willow came and woke her up, telling her that breakfast was ready. "I'm not hungry Will, I have to take a walk."

She got dressed, brushed her teeth and left the house. She didn't like Spike but what she did yesterday was uncalled for. She knew that she had broken his legs, there was no way that she couldn't have.

When she arrived at the cemetery, he wasn't there but the remnants of last night were. Spike's blood and that shattered tombstone pieces. She put her face in her hands. Of course he wouldn't be there. His legs were broken and it was broad daylight. It was well known that vampires and sunlight didn't mix well. "Oh dear god, what have I done? How could I have just left him like that?"

At that precise moment, a cloud of started swirling right next to Buffy but she was still staring at the ground where Spike had been. The thing finished teleporting. It was a foot and a half taller than her and pale. The woman was ethereally beautiful. With dark black hair and large grey-blue eyes. She spoke in an airy voice. "I'd think that you'd be happy about this. After all, you hated him didn't you? You broke his legs so that he couldn't even escape the light."

Buffy turned to the woman "I didn't mean for this to happen. I was just so upset and angry when I left yesterday that I didn't even give him a second thought."

"I'm Rayya" She waved her hand and conjured a bench "and we need to talk Buffy Summers. Please take a seat."

Buffy complied and sat down. "What are you? Buffy asked, curiosity taking over."

"That really isn't the point. Apart from the knowledge that I am a witch, it really doesn't matter. The subject of William matters."

Buffy carried on looking at the woman curiously. She was so pale yet she walked out in the daylight and she was so unimaginably beautiful. It was obvious that Rayya got this a lot so she talked above Buffy's quite rude staring. "You didn't give William a second thought but I did. He isn't dead if that's what you think but you have put him in a wheelchair…again. The first time, he did deserve it but he didn't this time. You know perfectly well how he feels about you but you still saw fit to hurt him for telling the truth. Countless times he has helped you, at least he has helped you a lot more than he has tried to kill you."

Buffy looked down ashamed. 

"Buffy Summers, you are the Slayer but that does not give you the right to say which helpless person lives or dies, and to seriously injure him because you yourself were feeling bad…

Please tell me, what is so bad about hearing that you are loved. Some people go through life never being told that."

Buffy didn't have an answer for that so she carried on looking at the grass. Rayya emitted a kind of respect and Buffy couldn't help but pay attention to what she was being told. Rayya was right.

"You knew, from the first punch, that he wouldn't hit back let alone defend himself and still, he loves you. It's true and it's pure Buffy, even if you don't want to believe it. If it wasn't he wouldn't love you after what you just did to him.

You died, he made a promise to protect Dawn and did he?"

Buffy looked up at Rayya and she whispered "Yes, he did."

"Exactly. You know that you had no right to invoke the damage that you did with such an unfounded basis, so the Powers The Be have intervened. William has been sent to your house and he is there right now, with you sister, Willow and Tara. Both the witches know the score and I believe that you sister was eavesdropping."

Buffy looked up sharply. "He's at my house? Since when?"

"As soon as you left your house this morning. It didn't take to long to explain and the things that I missed, I'm sure he will explain.

As punishment, you must take care of him until we think that you have learnt to accept his feelings as real. Believe me, we will know. You have damaged his spine in the process of venting your anger so it will take a bit longer for him to heal. I wish you all the best." With that, Rayya disappeared the same way that she had arrived, saying as parting. "I will return to check on you every now and again."

Buffy had forgotten to ask why Rayya called Spike William. She knew that it was his real name but no one called him that.

*               *               *               *               *

Buffy opened her front door to find an extremely upset and angry Dawn waiting on the other side. Dawn slapped Buffy hard across the face "You bitch! How dare you?!" then she pushed pass her older, shocked sister and left the house at a run, tears streaming down her face. Buffy looked at Willow and Tara for support but they were offering none.

*               *               *               *               *               *               *               *               *               *               *               *

**How did you like my first chapter? Review please and please don't flame. Thank you.**

**Pure-HP**


	2. Friends Like These and Rayya Explained

**Disclaimer: **Joss Whedon owns every character you recognise. I own the plot. Now enjoy.

**A/N:** I first have to thank the people who reviewed my story so here goes. They inspired me to carry on with the next chapter so soon.

Jodi: So many people say that my writing so good but I just don't see it. Thank you ever so.

Taintless: Thanx. I wanted to get their characters down.

Connor: I updated soon didn't I? So please don't flame. lol

Tamara: I agree with you in the Dead Things part. Someone should have been there for Spike but then she really didn't do him that much harm right? The way I tried it, I wanted it to be bad. Did it work?

Azuloy: Yes, she should appreciate Spike and the rest of what she has. I completely agree.

Mita427: Does this work for you? You wanted it soon.

Sepakina: Thank you but this was just supposed to be the beginning.

Kelsey: Thank you.

BlueEpiks13: Sorry but Willow and Tara never struck me as the type to hate Spike. They are very forgiving so it won't last long.

**Chapter 2: Friends Like These and Rayya Explained.**

Buffy shut the door behind her with a great sigh. She wanted to go after her sister but there was no going after her when she was in this mood. Looking at her friends imploringly again, she received another noncommittal glance. Buffy sighed again and said "Was it really that horrible?"

Willow and Tara grimaced at each other and silently made their way to the dining room. Buffy knew that she was obviously meant to follow. Glancing in the living room, she caught sight of Spike sleeping on the couch and his wheelchair beside it. He was badly bruised. With an extremely tiny feeling of guilt, Buffy sat opposite Willow at the dining table.

Willow looked visibly upset. Tara was the first one to speak, albeit uncomfortably. "D-did you r-really do that to him."

Buffy nodded glumly. Willow couldn't not speak anymore and she desperately wanted to find a reason as to why her best friend and the kindest soul she knew would do that. "What did he do to you? Did he hit you first? All Rayya said was that you had beaten him up and as punishment, you were to look after him until he was well enough."

Buffy looked heavenward _Thank you ever so Rayya. I at least hoped that you could make this a little easier. _Buffy looked at her best friend helplessly. "He didn't do anything Will. I was so upset about Giles leaving and he was just there…"

Buffy wasn't making this sound any less heartless. Willow looked slightly aghast and Tara couldn't hide her feelings either. 

"Buffy!" Willow choked out, "Did he even fight back?"

Buffy shook her head and looked down at the wooden surface of the table, determined to avoid eye contact with her friends. "But Dawn"

"Loves Spike" Tara finished. "You know that as well as anybody."

Willow was still shaking her head disbelievingly "He is one of the few men left in her life and you yourself know how much she loves him. Even if you don't."

"He was being his old obnoxious self."

"Yes," nodded Tara, "But you've never beat him so much that he can't even walk before."

"Look," Willow sighed. "I agree with Rayya. You must look after him, even if it's only to redeem yourself."

Tara nodded beside her. Buffy looked up, her expression slightly guarded "Well it's not like you like Spike so why do you think that it's so damn awful? He's a vampire, I'm a vampire Slayer. You do that math."

Tara clamped her mouth shut but Willow wasn't about to take that from her friend and she also wasn't going to get into a fight. "Yes Buffy, he's a vampire but he's a vampire who loves you. A vampire who would never hurt you or leave you, no matter how much you hate him or don't need him. You keep denying it but you know yourself that you can't do everything by yourself. Oh, and for your information. I don't hate Spike. He has risked so much in admitting his love for you. He's alienated all of us at some point of another but he has also, and this may be the most important, alienated himself from his own kind. With the way you treat him, where does he fit in?"

Buffy did not have the words. Willow was right. Why had she never thought what Spike's loving the Slayer would do about his reputation in the demon world. "I didn't…"

Willow shook her head, "Don't, all you can do now is be there for him and could you please, for Dawn, just try and put up with him? You're not even alone in this. You have Tara, Dawn and I to help you. Oh, and Xander knows too. Dawn called and told him."

Buffy nodded. She wasn't too apprehensive about Xander finding out, he didn't like Spike anyway. "Right. Um, what did he say to you? Spike I mean."

Tara said "He didn't say anything. He was asleep when Rayya brought him here and he hasn't stirred at all."

"So he doesn't know that he's going to stay with us then?" Buffy asked confused.

"He knows." Willow said matter-of-factly. I imagine Rayya told him. Well that's what she said.

"Oh" a thought came to Buffy. "Who is she?"

"Who, Rayya?" Tara asked. Buffy nodded. "She's an immortal witch. More precisely, she's the daughter of Hecate, the first ever known witch. Rayya is the most powerful and good witch to ever grace this Earth. Her powers are the true essence of magic and her job is to show the path of truth, which I guess is what she's doing with you and Spike.

When witches perform spells, they call upon Hecate as she is the power behind most of the spells. The other spells call upon Aradia, her sister."

Buffy nodded, she remembered both of these names being mentioned when Willow or Tara did a spell. "If he hasn't woken up yet, are you sure that he's ok?"

"Well Rayya would have told us if there was anything else needed so I guess that we just have to wait until he wakes up." Willow shrugged. "Do you have any idea where Dawn could have gone?"

"I'm guessing Xander's or Janice's. Xander's most likely, seeing that he knows Spike. God!" Buffy cried, putting her head in her hands. "She must hate me right now."

"Yes" Tara said soothingly, which didn't seem particularly appropriate at this moment. "But she'll get over it. When she sees that Spike doesn't hate you at all."

Buffy looked sceptically at her friends. At that precise moment, they heard a bang and a vehement exclamation of "Oh bloody hell!"

Willow and Tara quickly got up and headed for the living room. Buffy stayed by for a minute, not knowing if she could face him. Deciding that she could, she stood up. Just then, the front door opened and in came Xander, Anya and Dawn. Buffy rolled her eyes and proceeded to the living room. Xander, Anya and Dawn got there first and Buffy rounded the corner just in time to see Willow, Tara and Xander helping Spike back onto the couch. 

All she could think was _oh no, Xander doesn't hate Spike!_

Dawn sat beside Spike. "Do you want to sit here or in that wheelchair?" She asked, eyeing the wheelchair with distaste. Spike eyed it with equal distaste. "I am not getting into that thing again! I have had enough of it. Reminds me of the bloody poof and the last time I was in one."

Dawn grinned. "You can sit here if you want. Why did you fall off?"

Spike managed the best blush that a vampire with no circulation could produce. "I forgot that my legs don't work."

Dawn nodded knowingly and shot Buffy the dirtiest look she could muster. Xander walked up to Buffy, took her by the shoulders and lead her out of the room. "Buffy, I'm not going to lecture you because I know that you've had enough and I am not going to slap you because I can still see Dawn's handprint on your face but I am not going to say that I am happy with what you did or that he deserved it. I hear the he told you he wasn't going to fight back?"

Buffy nodded solemnly. 

"Well I have come to accept the fact that Spike loves you. I mean I accept the fact that he's in love with you. Buffy, you can't help who you fall in love with, trust me. It's not always going to be immediate but it will happen. Time is a great healer. Hold on to that knowledge and treat him well while he gets better."

Buffy looked scandalised. "I thought that you hated him. You always said that you did. Evil undead, Captain Peroxide. Remember those unique names that you gave him?"

Xander nodded. "Don't take the offensive with me Buff. Spike has saved my life more times than I can count. I'm not saying that I'm happy about his love, I just said that I accept it. Just like my friends accepted Anya…and her money."

Buffy smiled at him. "Thanks Xand. This helps."

Xander nodded. "Do you want me to take Anya, Willow and Tara out so that you and The Dawnster can talk?"

Buffy nodded. "I don't like fighting with my sister. Especially since she's the only family that I have left."

Xander had taken them all out of the house, leaving the sisters and the vampire. Buffy re-entered the living room to catch some more of the conversation.

"The bruises look bad Spike." Dawn said sadly.

"Scar tissue Dawn, it all heals. Vampire healing remember, so I should be clear in about a week."

 Dawn caught sight of her sister in the corner of her eye and pointedly turned away so that she couldn't see her anymore. Spike was too intuitive to miss this. He looked Dawn squarely in the eyes and said "Don't let me come between you two, Bit. You only have each other as family in the world now and I'm not worth you doing this to her." Buffy stood awkwardly in the doorway. "Talk to her, sort this out. I don't feel any differently for her and neither should you. Now go." Dawn frowned, hugged Spike lightly and stood up. Crossing her arms across her chest, she walked past Buffy and into the dining room, taking up the place that Willow had been in.

"Dawn…" Buffy began but Dawn cut her off.

"No Buffy, this time you listen to me. I love Spike. He's the closest thing I have to a brother and when you were dead, he took it upon himself to fulfil his promise to you to protect me. No one was allowed to baby-sit me but him" Dawn grimaced at the word baby-sit, she didn't need it in her opinion. "You had absolutely no right but if Spike can forgive, I don't think he ever hated you for it, even breaking his legs, then I guess that it isn't my place to hate you. 

I'm warning you Buffy, if you hurt him again, with no serious provocation…I'll never forgive you, even if he does."

Buffy nodded. "So I'm forgiven?"

Dawn nodded, "But I stand by the slap because you definitely deserved it."

Buffy laughed softly. "So do you think it's safe for me to enter the living room again?"

"Don't see why not" Dawn shrugged. "He doesn't think any less of you. Still loves you with everything he possesses. Can't see why though." Dawn grinned. "I'm off out okay? I have school to go to. We started late today, just in case you were about to jump back onto that high horse."

Buffy hugged her sister, gave Dawn her lunch and sent her on her way. She then dragged her feet into the living room. She was more afraid of properly seeing the damage that she had inflicted on the vampire than what he would say to her. As she appeared in the doorway Spike said "I'll put a paper bag over it if it'll help you face me, if you want."

_Damn his intuitiveness._

Buffy looked into his face and breathed a sigh of relief. The swelling had gone down, the blood had been washed away but the bruises looked as bad as ever, if not worse. She could revel in the fact that at least he didn't look as bad as he had when he had been tortured by Glory.

She shook her head and sat next to him. "I apologise Spike. I shouldn't have done it. I had no place."

Spike shrugged and turned the TV on. "You had to vent and you did. Besides, it's not the first time I've been beaten up." He contemplated "It is the first time I've had my legs broken though and my spine damaged."

Buffy closed her eyes in pain. Why did she have to behave so stupidly all the time?

"Slayer, it'll heal in a few weeks and then I'll be gone so don't worry about it ok?"

Buffy shook her head and looked into his ice blue eyes. "I'm sorry Spike but Rayya said that you can't leave until I accept that your love for me is real and I just can't do that. I can't believe it so you may be here a tad longer than you thought."

Spike stared unconcernedly at the woman he loved and said matter-of-factly. "When I'm healed, I'll walk out of here and I won't come back until you ask of it."

Buffy thought that it might be a bit more difficult than that. She didn't have time to dwell on it though as the rest of the residents of 1630 Revello Drive household returned with lots of laughs and sweet, fatty foods.

*               *               *               *               *               *               *               *               *               *               *               *

The End, of that chapter. LOL

I had to make it short as I have college tomoro. I'll update as soon as I can.

Pure-HP


	3. Of All Things Tolerable

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing you recognise, you know the drill.

**A/N:** Just for the record, seeing that I have been getting reviews about Xander (Quite a bit actually :S), he is not on Spike's side. He helped Willow and Tara set him on the couch because they weren't managing very well and he is more concerned about Buffy and what this would do to her. She has to face her own problems. Oh and the 'Buffy not hitting Spike in the actual series' thing, I added that because it would make the ending seem a lot sweeter. Get it? SORRY FOR ALL THE READERS. THIS STORY IS A B/S, I SHOULD HAVE MENTIONED THAT. 

And seeing that I love James Marsters, I hate the way Xander treats Spike so I changed it for my own liking. I am trying to be original but if you guys want it, I'll change him back and make him more cold hearted (sob).

**Chapter 3: Of All Things Tolerable**

Buffy handed Spike his mug of pig's blood with a straw in it. It was the same mug he had drunk from while chained to Giles' bathtub two years ago. She still didn't like looking at him drinking, it was grotesquely wrong in her mind, to see blood going up a straw. "Don't even ask whether it's the right temperature." Spike raised an eyebrow. "Call me when you're done, you can watch the TV in the meantime."

She went to the dining room for the doughnuts that her friends had bought. Xander patted the chair beside his own. "Come and sit Buff, we have enough fatty food to put weight on even the thinnest stick insect."

Buffy sat and grabbed a jelly (jam) doughnut. "Mmmmm, Buffy like food."

"So how's he doing?" Willow inclined her head to where Spike sat, watching Dawson's Creek.

"Drinking blood through a straw, what else?" Buffy shrugged.

Xander frowned. "What the hell does he need a straw for? You didn't break his hands. Did you?"

Buffy glared at Xander. "No I did not! He just said that it was cool, watching the blood go up the straw."

Xander looked like he was going to be sick. Tara who was strictly vegetarian said "You eat animals, burgers with blood in it but you can't appreciate the fact that the only way Spike can survive is to drink blood?"

Dawn, a practising vegetarian, joined into the conversation nodding. "And at least he also eats normal food unlike Buffy's ex undead boyfriend."

Xander put his food down and got up. "You know, I've had a lot to eat" he hadn't touched a thing "and I need to be at work, like now. All this talk of blood has my appetite just soaring. See you guys around." And he was gone, as fast as his feet could carry him.

Buffy laughed and turned to her sister. "Now look what you did, you chased him away."

Dawn nodded and Willow said "It's good for the soul."

"Buffy!" Dawn sounded pretty urgent. "Who's going to give Spike a bath? How is he going to get changed? How is he going to go to the toilet and where is he going to sleep?"

Buffy frowned, thinking. "Well Dawn. Have you ever seen Spike take a bath?" Dawn raised an eyebrow, Buffy ploughed right on "People don't use their legs to get changed, does he pee? He'll sleep in the guest room."

Dawn sent a withering look at her sister. "We don't have a guest room and he can't climb stairs."

Buffy had the presence to look ashamed at that. "We'll figure it out Dawnie. His legs won't stay broken for long. He heals about as fast as I do."

"Buffy? Willow and Tara are going out, can I go too. They said that if you said it was okay, I could go with them and it's not like they don't live here so they wouldn't be dropping me off. Please."

Buffy's head was spinning "Calm down Dawn. Okay, you can go and seeing that tomorrow is Saturday, you can stay out until 11pm and that is all. Understand?"

Dawn squealed, nodded and ran to her room to get her things. They were gone in 10 minutes. There was nothing left to do and it was too early to patrol so Buffy decided to join Spike with some Pacey Bashing, as he liked to call it.

"So…" Buffy said, settling herself down beside Spike. "Anything new?" She indicated the TV.

Spike shook his head, "Same old thing. Pacey wants Joey but it's so obvious that she really wants Dawson and its obviously like this huge triangle. I don't see why Pacey can't just let her go…" Spike finished his answer of lightly. He realised that he had just about summed up the way he felt and cursed himself because now he saw it from another persons point of view.

He looked down at his feet; at least they weren't at a weird angle as he has seen on TV when people's legs were broken. He missed them though. "I have to get into that wheelchair again don't I?" He said as a hope for a changed in subject but he heard Buffy's voice change and knew that she had also picked up on the subtext. "'Fraid so, no other way you're going to be able to get out of this room and I don't want a ripe smelling Spike room. Oh you _do_ pee!"

Spike started "What?!"

"Oh!" Buffy put her hand over her mouth "Did I say that out loud? Dawn was just mentioning…never mind."

Spike looked affronted "I don't think I approve of you and the Little Bit speaking of my 'ways of excreting' when I am not in the room to overlook and defend myself."

Buffy blushed. "It's a puzzle."

Spike rolled his eyes. "I can move my toes. Not my knees."

Buffy pondered this. "Well I didn't break you toes so I can see why."

Just then, dust started swirling again and Buffy knew what was coming. Rayya appeared in all her glory looking just the same as the first time Buffy had met her. She stood there for a little while, observing the Slayer and the vampire sat side by side and then she spoke. "Well, feeling any better William?"

Spike growled. "God damn it woman. How many times have I told you not to call me that?" Buffy looked at Spike confused. Why was he talking to her like that? It soon became apparent that Rayya and Spike knew each other as more than just mere acquaintances.

She swept across the floor and came at a stop right opposite Spike. "I will not lower myself to calling you what others do and besides. You know that you don't mind me calling you that. We have known each other forever after all." Spike rolled his eyes again. "Well are you going to just stand there or do you think that you can find it in you to sit down and behave like a normal person." He was grinning now.

"No William. I just knew that everyone, except Buffy of course, was out so I decided to pay one of my frequent but fly-by visits. See how much I do for you?"

Spike grabbed her hand and pulled her down to sit next to him. "You may be immortal but I will not have you towering above me when I have no power to be as equally intimidating."

Rayya relented and sat. "So you haven't kicked each other to another dimension yet?"

"Can't even if I wanted to love. Remember? Buffy's trying to be nice to me but I can see that it's costing her every ounce of control she can muster. And I will not accept pity or charity." He growled at the Slayer.

Rayya stood up. "I'd love to stay William but I have other people to overlook. Take care, you too Buffy. I'm glad to see that you're coping but it still needs work." And she was gone.

"I don't understand her." Spike said.

"I do."

*               *               *               *               *

A week had gone by. Rayya didn't turn up again, Spike's bruises had cleared up, allowing Buffy to look at him again with less guilt, and they had worked a few things that Dawn had mentioned out. Spike would shower upstairs, Willow and Tara levitated him up there and it was extremely freaky. He would urinate in a bucket, which was quite gross for the person who had to empty it. He didn't need help changing, although Dawn would sometimes take a peek. She never saw anything rude which lead Buffy to believe that Spike knew that he was being watched. He slept on the couch. In a whole week, he had only used the wheelchair once to which he was very grateful.

"Spike?!" He was being shaken awake. Had it been anyone else he would have thumped them. "Come on Spike, get up or I won't give you your blood." That did it. He was up.

"Damn it Niblet. What do you want?" He groaned, managing to sit up without much more injury.

"Do you always sleep without a shirt on?" She asked distracted. Then she grinned cockily "Or is it so that Buffy might walk in on you by accident?"

Spike growled at her. He realised that he had been doing that quite a bit since he had moved here. Dawn loved to hear it though (god only knew why), that way she knew that she was getting to him. "It's hot here. Haven't you women ever heard of air conditioning? This is California after all. Anyway, Buffy's seen me without a shirt before. What's the big?" Dawn put on her big innocent eyes while Spike rolled his.

"So do I get to eat now?" 

"Brush your teeth first. Vampire's can still get yellow teeth you know and I wouldn't want you to ruin those perfect whites. Besides, you drink the blood, not eat it so why do you say eat?"

Spike shrugged. "Not one to ruin a perfectly good vampire stereotype. Never asked."

"Well go and brush them then."

Spike grimaced. "This house really discriminates against the wheelchair bound you know?"

"Yep. Buffy'll be up in a min and if you're going to stick by what you said, I'd don a shirt." Dawn went to grab her breakfast with Willow and Tara.

"I'm finding it really hard to stop the resentment I am feeling at not being able to use my legs." He grumbled to himself.

"Well then you should have defended yourself."

Spike turned his head and saw Buffy. "Didn't hear you coming down Slayer. You also know that I wouldn't have. Used to be taller than you. They will mend in a few you know?"

Buffy grinned "I know, then we can have it out like we should have."

Spike reached out, quick as lightning and grabbed her hand. Buffy didn't have time to flinch. "I stand by what I say. I would hurt a hair on your head. Unless of course…" It was perfectly obvious what he was suggesting. Buffy rolled her eyes but couldn't quite place the emotion that was behind his eyes when he told her that.

She nodded stiffly. "Go get ready. I'll heat your blood for you." 

He nodded once and departed. Buffy went into the kitchen to find Dawn smiling mysteriously from the centre island. "Did he have a shirt on? I know Angel never looked that good with his shirt off."

"Dawn!" Buffy warned.

"Well did he?" Willow and Tara were making an obvious effort to ignore the sisters.

"No he didn't and I do not think it's appropriate to be thinking things like that about him. Rayya should have known that a very adolescent teenager would be living under the same roof. Especially one that has a major crush on him!" Buffy mock glared at her sister.

"Hey! I do not." Dawn protested.

"Yes you do sweetie." Willow said, admitting defeat that she couldn't pretend not to hear anymore.

Dawn shrugged. "I have school now. Xander should be over soon and tell Spike that I said bye." She blushed at the last words and left via the back door just as Xander came through the front.

"Does anyone lock our doors? This is Hellmouth central after all." Buffy locked the door behind Xander and Anya.

"So" said Xander. "How's it like? One guy and all these girls. I could just imagine." Anya thumped him.

"No, don't imagine. It's really gross. Willow and Tara are lesbians, they would never do that."

Buffy looked pointedly at Anya.

"What?" Anya said.

Xander closed his eyes, praying for someone to help him. "She means Dawn, Ahn."

"What about her?" Anya was way too literal. "And anyway Xander can only have sex with me."

"You know…" Buffy said, "I'm so glad that Dawn just left. You are going to corrupt her. God, you're corrupting me!"

Spike returned a few minutes later and Buffy handed him his mug of pig's blood with a straw in it, at the right temperature.

*               *               *               *               *               *               *               *               *               *               *               *

**I thought it would be kool to end the way I began. What do you think? Review please and please don't flame. **

**Oh and buffan03, I wouldn't say not to that bot either. Who would?**

**Pure-HP__**


	4. A Feeling

**Disclaimer: **If you recognise it, it's not mine.

**A/N: **I am sorry to anyone who was waiting ages for this update. I was caught up with work and the new season of Angel, even tough it's not out here in England, doesn't mean that I can't read transcript, spoilers and such. We English are so unlucky. I feel so sorry for Spike (shakes head). No one's making it any easier for him.

**Chapter 4: A Feeling**

The world of demons and all other things nasty were happy that Spike was out of the running for a while. It was no secret that he killed them for sport. They all agreed that he was a hypocrite. That was probably why a few of them were in his crypt at that very moment, only they weren't there to steal. As the old saying went, while the cat's away, the mice will play.

*               *               *               *               *

Spike was stretched out along the couch, his left arm over his eyes while Dawn leaned against the couch. It wasn't like she could actually sit on it because that would mean sitting on him. Looking at Spike now, you wouldn't know that there was anything wrong with him. His cuts and bruises had completely cleared up; he wiggled his toes but couldn't do much else with his legs. It was lucky that he had such a strong upper body or he wouldn't get anywhere. 

"Spike?"

"Yes niblet?"

Dawn rolled her eyes, she didn't hate being called that but it made her feel really young, as if he didn't take her seriously because he didn't think she was mature enough.

"Shouldn't you do some sort of exercise to help you legs start working properly? I mean that is what people do. I think that it also stops there from being any after effects right?"

Spike grinned and turned to his side so that he could see Dawn looking up at him. "Tell me Dawn, what are those exercise meant to influence?"

Dawn understood what he was talking about and grimaced "Blood flow…"

Spike nodded knowingly and sat up, making space for her. "Sit here. It's your couch after all."

"Oh thank god! I thought my butt had fallen off!"

"So when does big sis get back?" Spike was doing his best to act indifferent. Dawn saw right through him.

"Real subtle Spike. I don't understand you, I really don't. I mean she says that she'll never like you like that. If anyone said that to me that amount of time that Buffy has said it to you, I would just quit trying. If she doesn't see it, she doesn't deserve you."

Spike leaned back against the couch and groaned, his spine was none the better. "You don't understand Dawn, it's not that easy and to top it off, one of my very good friends, one of the last I have left, decided to leave me here. I swear that she was plotting this."

"How long has Rayya been your friend?"

"Well I met her twenty years after I became a vampire. So just under a century."

"But you were the Big Bad at the time."

Spike grimaced. "She said that I was special, different from other vampires and then to top it off, she said that she believed in me. How bloody insulting is that?"

Dawn giggled. "But you still killed the only slayers that you came in contact with."

"Yeah!" Spike growled, which made Dawn laugh louder. "It didn't change her mind about me though."

"You were trying to prove something? Did it work?"

He shrugged. 

Xander came in glowing.

Dawn turned to look at him. "Just get off work?"

"Yep, and then I thought I'd come over and rescue you from the Big Unbad."

Dawn got off the couch, intending to head out of the living room. "Great use of non-existent words Xander. Would you like to sit and play checkers with him while I fix myself an orange juice?"

"Checkers?" dawn stood there, looking knowingly. "And you don't fix orange juice, you pour it from the carton that is in the fridge."

"Well I still need one." When she reached the doorway, she turned back and said "Xander, 'Apocalypse Now' is just about to start."

Xander and Spike lunged for the remote.

*               *               *               *               *

Buffy was on her way home, smelling like a burger. She didn't care if the President himself was in her bathroom right now, she would throw him out on his behind. There was no way in hell that anyone could smell like this for a prolonged amount of time without turning into a burger themselves.

Buffy entered the house to some very weird noises. Looking into her living room, she saw her sister, one of her best friends and the vampire guest sitting there. Dawn was laughing, Spike was behind a cushion while muffled groans emitted from the heart of it while Xander sat in front of the TV, riveted.

"What's going on?"

Dawn answered without turning. "'Apocalypse Now' is on TV."

Buffy understood. It was Xander's favourite movie. Spike shouted above the din that Dawn was making. "It is bloody unfair! I have to put up with this crap with no way of escape."

Buffy pointedly said "It called a wheelchair Spike." The she turned and headed for her bedroom, intent on grabbing some clothes and bathing for 7 years in the bathroom, never mind how much she resembled a prune at the end of it.

*               *               *               *               *

Buffy returned an hour later to witness the conclusion of the movie. Xander turned the TV off and sighed in pleasure. "I never get tired of the movie".

Spike shot a deathly look at Xander because he couldn't do much else. "I was an evil vampire for a century" Dawn snorted at that. "And I can honestly say that I never did anything as evil as make someone sit through that load of crap."

"Yeah?" Xander shot back. "Well try living with you. That goes far and beyond the call of evil"

Buffy shook her head at the immaturity. "When you boys are quite done, I'm going patrolling and you," she shot at Xander. "are coming with me."

Xander stretched and stood up, going over to her weapons chest. "Sure."

Spike was still looking venomous. "I hope you get eaten, only I can't see who would want a pathetic whelp like you!"

Xander looked over, a malicious look on his face. "Well at least I won't have to go around saying that a crazy, pathetic cow, who can't tell the difference between night and day, turned me into vampire because you know what Spike, only a crazy person would ever love you."

With that said, Xander left the house. Dawn frowning at his back and Buffy, following but not saying a thing.

*               *               *               *               *

Buffy and Xander were walking purposefully along and she couldn't stand it anymore. She may not like Spike but Xander having a crack at his former was a cheap, low blow. "You know what? After what you said to me a few weeks back, you seem pretty quick to jump back onto the We All Hate Spike bandwagon. This was about a movie for Christ sake. Could you have been a little _more harsh?"_

Xander chose to ignore her and carried on walking towards the cemetery. 

Buffy tried another way. "I know that he can be irritating Xander but you have to control your anger. I didn't and look where it got me. You may not be so lucky, which is why I am not going to let you come into the cemetery with me. This sort of behaviour is going to get you killed so just stop and go home, I can do this alone."

That made him stop. He looked and said. "How do these things with him start anyway? Something as trivial as a movie."

"He has a gift, an annoying and anger inducing gift. Now are you going to behave or are you going home?"

Xander's resolve face was answer enough. Together they entered the cemetery. "Put it this way Xand, at least he never takes jibes at Anya."

"Yeah, because they both sprung from the same mould. Both ancient and have little or no tact. Doesn't mean I don't love her."

"Exactly."

*               *               *               *               *

Dawn turned to Spike. She was a little afraid of what she would see. Spike had loved Drusilla and she wouldn't be surprised if Spike was looking murderous right then but to her surprise, he was looking seriously indifferent, thinking about something. 

"Spike?"

He shook his head and looked over at Dawn who was sitting on a recliner. His gaze was questioning.

"I'm sorry about what he just said. He must be learning things from Anya."

Spike smiled a genuine, kind smile which he reserved for the women in the Scoobie Gang. They were always nice to him, minus Buffy but he couldn't help smiling at her and even then, he still didn't do it often.

"It's okay Dawn. He can't hurt me with Drusilla anymore, just don't tell him that though. I mean that she can't mean much to me if I was offering to kill her for Buffy. Drusilla never loved my anyway. She was just using me until Angelus returned to her. He broke her down for him and reserved her for himself. She always went to that ponce, like a willing puppy." There was no venom in his voice at all.

Dawn still looked visibly upset. "But she was with you for a century."

"No, I was with her, she was never around, even when she was there. So caught up in herself and Angelus. I was tired of being knocked back and forth by her."

"So you decided to be knocked back and forth by Buffy?"

Spike smirked. "See, it makes all the sense when you say it out loud."

Just then, Spike let out a yelp. Dawn looked at him shocked. "What?"

"Pain, like a railroad spike driving itself through my left knee." Spike's expression was still of utmost pain.

He didn't seem to get it but Dawn's eyes widened excitedly. "You mean that you can feel it?! You can feel your knee?"

Spike realised what it meant and looked at Dawn, happier than she had seen him in a long time. "Yes, I can!"

Dawn jumped up and rushed to him. She hugged him and then let go, embarrassed. "You're getting the feeling back in them!"

Spike's smile dimmed slightly. "It's just a feeling Dawn. I can't actually move my legs, it's only in one knee and if I have to sit through anymore of this torture, I'd gladly give the feeling back. I hope that my victims didn't feel like this."

The stern look Dawn gave him reminded him off Buffy. "Any progress is good progress. Even if you are too much of a wimp to take it."

Spike growled. "I am not a wimp!"

"And anyway, if you can get your legs working again soon, you won't ever have to sit in the wheelchair again. Unless of course, you get Buffy pissed off…again. You know, maybe you should keep it, just in case. You're unpredictable.

I here that feeding helps vampire's to heal quicker, want some blood?"

Spike nodded. "You're not squeamish like you sister are you?"

Dawn shook her head. "When she sees you drink, she probably remembers all the times that her blood has been sucked from her. If she was normal, she'd be dead right now."

Spike decided to probe Dawn about that later. What he wanted now was food.

*               *               *               *               *

**Eurgh! This has got to be the worst chapter in the history of bad chapters. I will promise a better one later. Let the healing begin!! **

**Even thought it sucked, please don't flame. Thank you. I just want to thank all the reviewers. It's what gets me writing in the first place.**

**Pure-HP**


	5. The Pain of Healing

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing you recognise (Character wise)

**A/N: **I just wanted to know something. On a lot of fanfics, I see Elizabeth Summers and I do not remember who that is or even if I know who that is so if anyone does know, could they please tell me in a review. Thanks.

**Chapter 5: The Pain of Healing**

Buffy, Xander and Willow sat at the coffee shop drinking hot chocolate and just enjoying each other's company without the constant interruptions of little sisters, needy vampire's and highly tactless ex demons. Buffy smiled happily and said. "It has been too long since the three of us sat together and just talked. I miss this. Just us original three, don't you?"

Willow nodded. "Yes, but technically, there were four originals."

Buffy's face fell and Willow realised the mistake that she had made. "Oh Buffy, I'm sorry."

She didn't stay sad for long though. Smiling, she said. "Don't worry about it Will. Giles was right, I needed to make things on my own for a while and its not like I'm never going to see him again. He always comes back."

Xander nodded through a mouthful of doughnut. "I don't think he's going to be pleased to hear about the walking annoying though."

Willow stared condescendingly at her childhood best friend. "Oh don't worry about it Xand, I think he's gotten over the initial shock of Anya by now."

Xander ignored her and turned to Buffy. "Buffy, my only best, and female, friend in all the world. How is life?"

Buffy smirked. "If I am your only female friend, you really need to get out more. Shouldn't Anya be your friend too?"

"Nah, she's my bedtime buddy."

Willow laughed. "Careful Xander, her lack of tact is rubbing off on you."

Buffy twirled her spoon between her fingers. "Come to think of it guys, Spike's been getting shooting pains in his left knee. And apparently it kills. I think he's getting the feeling back in them. That's good news right? At least it means that he won't be under my care for much longer. I already have one kid to look after."

"Teenager!" A voice said, just as a body dropped itself in the vacant chair between Buffy and Willow.

"Hey Dawnie." Willow said, smiling.

"And you don't look after me Buffy. You live with me. Spike's in the shower at home, sitting down. He does have extraordinary upper body strength. He said that he didn't trust going to the bath when there was only me in the house so I offered to leave if I would help him. I think that he thinks that I would peek!" Dawn cried as she stole one of Buffy's doughnuts. "mmmm, definitely not good for you."

Buffy raised a mocking eyebrow. "No, I'm sure you wouldn't peek Dawn." She snatched her doughnut back just as Dawn was about to take a bite from it. "Mine."

"Hey!" Dawn shrugged "Besides, I like having Spike there."

"That makes the one of us."

"Shut up Buffy."

Xander stretched. "Well, I have to be getting to work ladies. Thanks for the time out. Cya this evening."

All three girls nodded. Willow then excused herself as she needed to get to college.

Dawn turned to Buffy. "Seeing that you love Spike so much and you stole my doughnut which I stole from you, I'm going to leave you with Spike for the rest of the day."

Buffy started to protest before she realised that her sister had to get to school. Muttering to herself, she made her way back home. '_God, I mutter to myself too much nowadays!'_

She opened the door and looked down the hall, there was a lot of steam coming from the bathroom. It wasn't surprising. It was broad daylight outside so Spike had to keep the blinds drawn and it wasn't like he could use it in the evening because there were just too many people around after sundown. Thank god the walls weren't papered.

She headed into the kitchen to start the dishes that Dawn a Spike would obviously have left, they never cleaned up after themselves. She knew quite well that Spike couldn't at the moment but it was nice to be able to blame him. She had never actually invited him to stay after all.

Buffy was caught up in listening to her music and washing the dishes so she didn't hear the bathroom door open. She only realised that someone was there when she saw the light from the refrigerator reflecting off of her. She spun around quickly, ready to attack the person who had dared enter her house and barely controlled herself when she saw that it was Spike. It wasn't like he was trespassing after all.

"What were you planning on doing Slayer? Fighting me with soap suds?"

Buffy cocked an eyebrow and returned to her dishes. "There's no more bloody left Spike. If you want any, you're welcome to go down to the nearest butchers and pick some up for yourself."

Spike narrowed his eyes at her. "Sure, I'll wait for a more flammable time of day though. Make sure it works out right."

Buffy nodded in agreement. "You do that."

Spike sighed, shook his head slightly and wheeled himself back into the living room, thinking, '_she is so bloody hopeless!'_

Buffy finished the dishes and decided that she wanted to watch the TV. She knew that Spike would be watching it and that made it all the more entertaining. Walking in, she saw him sitting there, a pained expression on his face and both of his legs twitching slightly. The TV was on but he wasn't watching it. His eyes were closed.

Buffy grabbed the remote and changed the channel over to MTV and settled down beside him. Spike groaned in pain but Buffy ignored him, she wanted to see her music. It took Buffy a moment to realise what she had seen when she had walked into the room, Spike's legs were moving slightly. She gazed a little to her left so that she could see better and sure enough, they were moving but the look on Spike's face told her that it was not voluntary. "Want some painkillers?"

"No…blood…flow!" He gasped out.

"Does it really hurt that bad?"

He nodded slightly. 

Buffy looked up at him face. There was none of the usual sarcastic looks or smirks. Just a face filled with pain, only pain but he kept silent about it.

Spike's breath was coming out more laboured, it looked like the pain was getting worse, not better. Buffy didn't know what to do and she had certainly never seen him like this before. It was different. 

"Is it just in the one leg?"

"Both."

Buffy winced; it was obvious that it was in both because they were both twitching. She turned the TV off and gave her full attention to the vampire. "I never thought that I'd be helping you of all people."

Spike shot her a look. It was blank with absolutely no emotion behind it. If he hadn't been in this kind of pain and thinking straight, he would never have said it but that wasn't the case. "Don't you think that you've helped enough?! You're the reason I'm in this amount of pain now!"

Come morning, he would put it down to her sarcasm and shunting but right now, he didn't care how much he hurt her. He didn't mean it, he couldn't, but he was suffering. That is what he was thinking about, and the look on Buffy face, when he passed out. She looked hurt; she didn't have a right to be.

*               *               *               *               *

Buffy didn't have time to feel angry or upset about the word that had come from his mouth because even tough he had passed out, he was still shaking and the look of pain was still evident across his face and besides, he had been right. If there was one thing that she knew, it was that Spike had never lied to her. 

Buffy laid him flat across the couch, it took time because he was heavy and a passed out body was a lot heavier than a sleeping one. She sighed from the exertion and had too take a few deep breaths to make up for the ones she had lost. There was nothing that she could do for the pain. Making him as comfortable as she could, she left the house. Some blood would probably help with the pain.

*               *               *               *               *

Buffy returned half an hour later to find Spike, exactly the same as when she had left him but there was now sweat glistening on his face. She went into the kitchen to get a cloth and to heat the blood up. He was going to have to wake up, whether he liked it or not.

She wiped his face and sat him up straight in less time than before, and shook him. "Wake up Spike. You can pass out all you want after you've had your blood."

Spike groaned and opened his eyes. "Passing out…is better."

"Just drink it!" Buffy glared and shoved the straw into his mouth. Spike shrugged with the resignation that once he was done, he could return to his state of painful oblivion. 

He finished the blood in record time, with Buffy holding the mug for him. He had begun to sweat again. He let the straw drop. Buffy handed him the cloth to wipe his face with and returned to the kitchen, allowing him to slip back to unconsciousness to him hearts content.

Spike shivered for a long time but gradually, he settled back down. Around the same time that Dawn returned. She saw him on the couch and went into the kitchen. "Did something happen to him?"

"Pain attacks. Very painful it looked like. How is he doing now?"

Dawn shrugged. "He seems fine. He's just covered in a lot of sweat."

Buffy nodded. "I suggest that we leave him as is for now."

Dawn nodded and went into her room. Casting one last, worried, look at Spike. 

Buffy walked to the stairs and watched Dawn go up, just as she was turning, the door opened and Tara walked in. "Oh, hey Tara."

Tara nodded a welcome but her expression immediately changed. "He's been in pain, hasn't he?" She indicated Spike.

Buffy looked at her friend confusedly, she hadn't even looked at the vampire yet she knew that something was wrong.

"How do you know that?"

"It's radiating from him in waves. His essence isn't quite calm." She walked over to him. "But that's good, it means he's healing. He's been in so much pain because his spine is healing too and that hurts a lot. Its how most people get paralysed. I suppose that in humans, when a spine is damaged, it can never heal properly so the legs stop working. He's not human so it'll heal, but not without a fight. He'll be good as new when it's through though."

"Oh great!" Buffy sighed. "The old Spike. What fun."

Tara shot her an amused look. "Let him sleep for now. He being a vampire, the healing won't take long. Is Willow home?"

Buffy shook her head. "College only let up a little while ago so I'm not surprised that she's not home yet. Probably doing some extra curricular work to get more brownie points."

Tara smiled fondly. "Is there any food left?"

"Oh yeah, I ate in the kitchen because I didn't want to disturb him. It's in the fridge, stick the food in the microwave for a few minutes."

"Thanks."

Buffy went back into the living room and picked up the cloth that Spike had set on the end table. She wiped the sweat off of him again and sat on the floor, leaning against the couch much like Dawn did when Spike was asleep, resting or watching TV. 

She turned the TV on; making sure that the volume was really low and watched her taped episode of 'Dawson's Creek'. It was the only thing worth watching at the moment. All the other shows had ended for the year.

It was half way through when she felt a stirring above her head. She cocked her head and saw Spike on the verge of waking up. She turned back to the TV. He'd be awake in a few seconds and sure enough, soon she felt the couch moving a lot more as he tried to sit up without the use of his legs.

"How does it feel?" She asked, her eyes still fixed on the TV. 

"Like legs should, after an atomic bomb has been dropped on them and my lower back is not much better for wear."

Buffy nodded. "Want blood?"

She heard the snarky tone in his voice. "I wouldn't want to put you out."

Buffy decided that now would be a good time to stop watching TV. "No big deal." She got up and went into the kitchen. Spike sighed and sunk into the couch, letting it hold his shape. He tested his legs and like he had thought, he could move them about two inches. It wasn't enough and there definitely wasn't enough strength in them to hold him up at the moment. He had to hand it to them though. They were improving by the day. Soon he would be able to get out of there and kill himself properly.

*               *               *               *               *               *               *               *               *               *               *               *

**The End**

**(Of that chapter) Did I get anyone worried?**

**Please review and no flames please. Thank you. I was hoping to get this chapter up sooner but my computer f***ed up big time so I replaced the hard drive and not only that, my Sky did too so I missed Angel (Season 2 episode. I won't b able to c Season 5 till January coz I live in the ****UK****).**

**Pure-HP**


	6. The Steps and the Tears

**Disclaimer: Joss Whedon owns all the familiar things, the set, the characters.**

**A/N: Thank you to all my reviewers. I am so sorry that this took so long to come out but I was updating my Harry Potter stories which I hadn't updated for 4 months so I gave that priority. **

**Chapter 6: The Steps and the Tears**

Dawn walked in from the dazzling sunlight, having just returned from school. She was extremely glad that it was Friday. She shut the door quickly behind her incase Spike was around, he wouldn't be able to get out of the way before he ended up looking like a chain smokers leftovers.

"Buffy, Spike? I'm home. Willow? Tara!!"

"They're all out niblet." Dawn heard from the kitchen. She went in there to find Spike in his wheelchair next to an open fridge, rummaging around for some blood or food. He was a complicated vampire. 

Dawn removed her school bag and coat and settled herself onto the island tabletop, grabbed a cereal packet and started munching loudly and annoyingly.

Spike turned his head to look at her, a face full of disgust. "And they told me that ladylike behaviour was dead. You could try to be a little less gross bit."

Dawn rolled her eyes and spoke around a mouthful of cereal so some of it managed to escape the confines of her mouth. "This coming from the vampire that likes to crush Wheat-a-bix in his blood to give it texture?!" Dawn snorted, also very unladylike. "How are your legs Spike?"

He shrugged, "They feel bruised but the pain is less and I can move them somewhat. I guess that my spine is repairing itself. It didn't take this long to heal last time. I was mostly pretending to still need that wheelchair."

Dawn nodded and set the cereal box down and then jumped off of the island. She walked around the back of his wheelchair and proceeded to wheel him into the living room, much to his protestations. "Yeah, but last time, a church organ fell on you, thanks to our favourite slayer. She does seem to be bad for you Spike."

Spike ripped open his bag of blood. "Yeah, but that means that I get to spend more time with you." Spike grinned at her. Dawn slapped him on the side of the head which just made Spike laugh.

"How much can you move them?" Dawn asked, looking pointedly at his legs.

"A lot more than before. At least the pain is less that it doesn't make me pass out anymore. I can stand this kind of pain."

"Have you tried standing up yet?"

Spike shook his head. "I don't want to push it. What if everything that has healed reverses?"

Dawn shook her head. "Everything needs exercise and I'm sure that you need it too. Blood helps, yeah, sure, but you also need to get the muscles moving or they'll heal but they'll forget how too. 

I broke my arm once when I was little. I didn't exercise it so when the cast came off, it was all floppy and it stayed like that for a week before my mum blackmailed me into exercising it. You can lean on me and we can try to help you walk."

Spike laughed. "You talk way too much. And besides, I doubt that you could hold up Willow and she weighs barely anything so what makes you think that you can hold me up?"

Dawn put her hand on her hip and glared at the neutered, blond vampire. "Try me." She growled.

Ok. "Spike smirked, but if you get crushed to death, it's your own bleeding fault."

Dawn nodded once. "You can do the first part on your own."

Spike complied and used his well toned arm to push himself up from the wheelchair. Dawn got down moved his feet rests to the side while muttering "I don't know who you stole this wheelchair from."

Dawn kneeled in front of him so he could put his weight on her shoulders. He did, while pushing the chair a little bit back and lowering first on foot, then the other onto the carpet. Dawn stood up straight and quickly put her arm around his waist to give him the extra added support and something to lean on. She let out a cheer.

It was all going well until Spike decided to lean on Dawn. That was when she realised that he had spoken the truth. She could not hold his weight up and lost her footing. With Spike's weight on her, the fall was going to be very painful. Just before she hit the carpet, she closed her eyes and waited for the resounding thud because it was going to be her head that hit first. She wasn't the slayer and she doubted that it would stop hurting after a little while. She let out a glass shattering squeal.

Dawn was pulled to a halt before she hit the ground. Strong hand on her arms had stopped her descent. She opened one eye, and the another. She was barely a centimetre from the carpet. Letting out a sigh, she turned her head to see Spike supporting her, on his feet! He stood her up and let go of her. "I told you didn't I niblet?" 

Dawn groaned but turned it into a squeal when she saw that he was standing on his own. "You did it Spike! Look! You're standing!" She screamed and then started dancing around the room. It was safe to say that Spike was more than a little bewildered.

He took one, step and the two. The pain was still there. He seemed to be doing fine until…"Oh bloody hell."

He lowered himself onto the couch. Dawn stopped her dance and joined him. "What's wrong?"

He looked at her and scowled. "My bloody legs feel like jelly not to mention the pain." Dawn smiled. "But at least I can walk. Give me a few days and I'll be out of your, and big sister's hair."

Dawn smile dropped. "You'd just leave? Just like that? After you've been here for so long. Gotten to know me and Buffy and Tara and Willow? You're the only one who can bring testosterone into this house."

Spike glared at her. "Don't use that bleeding word pigeon. Besides, I already knew you, the witches and the slayer."

Dawn grinned, "Yeah, but now you've seen us in our PJs."

Spike carried on glaring. "I've seen Buffy in less."

Dawn's eyes widened. 

"Well not technically, but when I showed her what Riley was up to last year, she wasn't wearing anything under her duvet."

Dawn looked grossed out. "She may be the woman you love Spike, but she's still my sister!!! So will you kindly not let me into all these sordid details of your mind PLEASE!?"

Spike laughed quietly and lay back on the couch and closed his eyes. Dawn mock glared at him. "I'm going to do homework now because if I don't, evil people will take me away from Buffy." Dawn got to the bottom of the stairs and turned back to Spike. "Spike?"

He raised his eyebrows to show that he was listening but kept his eyes closed. 

"Could you please think before you leave because Buffy might not need you…but I do, and I want you to stay here."

Without waiting for a reaction from him, Dawn went into her room.

*               *               *               *               *

Spike stayed in the position with thoughts racing through his mind. He wanted to get out of the Summers women, and the witches hair. It was plainly obvious that Buffy didn't want him there. Red and Tara and always been nice to him during his stay there but they weren't around a lot. He hadn't given much thought to what Dawn might want and now she had said that she didn't want him to leave.

He knew that she didn't have a very sturdy father figure around, her dad was, to put it nicely, a jackass. Giles was back in England and Xander was always with Anya, planning their wedding and such and he doubted that the whelp would be much help anyway.

His thoughts were still swimming when the door opened again, this time admitting the oldest Summers, Willow and Tara. It seems that they had come home together. Buffy was laughing at something Willow had said. Spike opened his eyes when he heard his name and a question directed at him.

"Spike, has Dawn come home?"

He turned his head to look at the three women and nodded. "She's upstairs doing her homework."

"Good, I'll go up and check on her." She started up the stairs. 

Spike called out to her. "She's not a kid anymore you know, I'm sure she's fine."

Tara smiled a little, Willow stretched and Buffy carried on up the stairs, but not before throwing Spike a sarcastic look.

"I'm hungry." Willow commented, before entering the kitchen. She didn't ask Tara if she was because Tara would get her own food if she wanted it, or follow Willow. Tara joined Spike on the couch instead. 

"How're you feeling?"

Spike turned his head so that she could see the witch while he spoke, his head was still against the back of the chair. "Are you afraid of me?" he drawled.

Tara looked confused. "No, why?"

Spike let out a tiny bark of a laugh. "Because my way of saying hello was to punch you in the nose."

Tara's confusion deepened but then the memory dawned on her. "I should have thanked you for that. If it wasn't for you, my family would have taken me away."

Spike shrugged. "You're welcome. The pain in the head wasn't. I was just doing my daily dose of good deeds."

Tara smiled again and it struck Spike that they had never really talked much at all. He barely knew her but she seemed like a very nice person. She was very quiet though so it was no wonder.

"I should go and help Willow with the food preparation."

Spike closed his eyes and nodded. Tara took it as her queue to leave.

*               *               *               *               *

Spike had just about drifted off to sleep when he felt the couch depress a little, that was enough to wake him up. He had always been a light sleeper. He shook his head slightly to get the sleep put of his head and opened his eyes. He saw Buffy staring at him.

"Dawn says that you can walk now…or something."

Spike took a moment before he answered. "A bit. Then my legs feel like rubber and I feel the need to fall flat on my face just to make sure that the ground still exists.

She made me stretch my legs out. Said that exercise was the only way to go for a neutered vampire whose legs are shot."

Buffy didn't know what to make of it. She was glad that her burst of self righteousness had not made him permanently paralysed but she had gotten so used to him being around, annoying her, caring for her, as best he could. She hadn't had that since Giles had left and she was just beginning to realise how she craved it but she stopped those thoughts when she realised how selfish she was being. She wanted Spike to stay for selfish purposes. Buffy didn't love Spike, she just needed him and that was unfair.

Buffy decided to ignore her feelings, swallowed hard and looked him in the eyes, those clear blue eyes that had once looked on her with malevolence and hate but that look had been dead for a long time now. "So what are you going to do when they can hold you up for prolonged periods of time?"

Spike shrugged. When he spoke, his voice was of forced calm. "Go back to my crypt and relieve Clem of housekeeping duties. I miss my bed and not having to run from sunlight at every open door."

Buffy kicked herself mentally after what she said next. "Dawn doesn't want you to go you know. She's miserable up there."

Spike leaned in closer to her and looked into the slayers eyes. When he could see nothing but walls, he once again rested on the back of the couch and said simply. "She'll get over it."

"Yeah," Buffy said bitterly. "Because I'm such a good father, mother and sister figure to her."

Spike sighed "I wouldn't say father but you are a good 'mother' and sister. All you need to know is that she's doing well and most of the is down to you."

"And Willow and Tara, because I can't do this on my own Spike! Without them I'd be lost."

Spike put his finger under her chin and spoke softly to her. "Without them, you would have the opportunity to say that you cared for her all by yourself and she turned out great. That besides killing all the evil in the world and saving countless lives, you are a good person who can _cope, someone who can love her sister and have that be enough." Spike smiled and relaxed on the couch again._

He didn't see the slayers eyes swimming with tears of happiness. That in all the time since Willow had bought her back from the grave, Buffy actually felt good about herself and it was all because of a vampire. _The_ vampire that she was supposed to hate.

Spike did fall asleep and this time, he wasn't woken up…until dinner.

*               *               *               *               *

"Dawn!!!" Buffy called up the stairs. A minute later, Dawns head poked out above the banister. "Buffy?"

"We're eating now, everyone's ready so get down."

"Okay, but I have to finish my last question on trig so I'll be there in two minutes."

Buffy nodded and returned to the kitchen where Willow and Tara were just about finished making the food.

"Spike's at the dining table." Willow said, through a yawn.

"Give him a bit of blood, that'll keep him happy for the rest of the day." Buffy grinned.

Willow snorted. "He eats normal food too you know? He asked us if we could do an onion flower too but we ran out of onions."

Someone laughed from the doorway, Dawn had arrived. "They aren't good for you either you know?"

Tara nodded. "But he's already dead."

*               *               *               *               *

Through all the hustle and bustle, it took another hour before they were all done eating and to keep Spike happy after the onion incident, Tara made Spike some buffalo wings.

*               *               *               *               *               *               *               *               *               *               *               *

**I hope you people liked it. Thank you for all the reviews that I have already received. I'll post the next chapter after I've written it. **

**Review and please, please don't flame. Thank you.**

**Pure-HP**


	7. The Return

**Disclaimer: Do I really need to keep putting these up? It's unnecessary don't you think? I don't own it. There!**

**A/N: Sorry for the wait. I know this is getting utterly annoying so instead of looking for my fics (which I won't stop writing) just add me to your author alert so u can get an email every time I do update.**

**Chapter 7: The Return**

Spike walked around the house feeling unsettled. He could walk around now, not very well and he didn't even dare to try fighting, he'd probably fall on his arse and get staked for it too. There was no one inside the house. He hadn't attempted to leave yet. It could be because he was weaker than a newborn baby (although he was getting stronger as the days went by), or because Dawn would kick his arse if he even thought about leaving in his state and he wouldn't be surprised if she actually managed to do him some good damage. "Like her bleeding sister, that one."

He sat in the wing chair in the corner of the room. He didn't like keeping his blood in the Slayer's kitchen fridge. It just seemed a bit ominous. She was the Slayer and she was keeping blood to satiate a vampire. 

There was a knock on the door. Spike looked at the curtained window, wondering briefly if demons now made house calls to the Slayer. He didn't feel like getting up. The four girls had house keys so it wasn't them. The whelp had already made a short visit this morning before going to work and Anya was at the 'Magic Box' so he couldn't think who it might be. He would have looked out of the window but he didn't want to risk an ashy sunburn.

Sighing resignedly, he got off the chair and made to open the door. The door swung open, Spike just stared at the person on the threshold for a long moment before he spoke. "Hadn't you left? What are you doing back here? Didn't like England?"

Giles just stared at the vampire for a long time. "Did I enter a different reality? Because if so, I liked the old one. What are you doing here Spike?" Giles asked before he pushed past the bleached blond undead and entered the dining room. 

_Why did he always go in that room first? _Spike wondered. "I'm planning on killing the Slayer and I would like to stake out the place first. You know how it is." He rolled his eyes at the retired watcher.

It was then that Giles saw Spike's slow deliberate steps. He walked as if stepping wrong would cause intense pain. "I know I'm going to regret asking this, but what happened to you?"

Spike threw him a look before entering the kitchen for his blood. "I don't know what you're talking about." He said, voice loud enough for Giles to hear.

Giles got off of the wooden chair and walked to the doorway of the kitchen, leaning against the doorframe. "Why are you walking like that and why are you living here?" He eyed the packet of blood in Spike hands as he poured it into a mug and stuck a straw into it.

He shrugged. "I don't think that is any of your business. You left remember, technically, this is all your fault anyway and if you want to know the real answer, ask your Slayer."

Giles stared, glaring at the vampire and he glared right back. "I'd leave watcher" he looked towards the window. "but I can't."

Giles shrugged and sat at the dining table again. "It would be a nice and final way for you to go."

"It would at that, but then who'd be here to annoy you and your lot. Assuming that you are staying, that is."

Giles didn't respond to that, how could he answer that question when he didn't know the answer to it himself. "Where are they anyway?"

Spike looked at Giles confused, was he going mad? "Giles take a look at the clock, it's one in the afternoon on a Tuesday morning. They are either at school or working. Did you think that I actually offed them?" Spike smirked around his mug.

Now that Giles came to think about it, he hadn't been worried about that at all. Subconsciously, he supposed that Spike really wasn't a danger to them anymore. In the time that Giles had known him, Spike had helped more than he had killed. Giles shrugged. "No."

Spike didn't know whether to be happy or annoyed by that so he pushed it from his mind. "You can come back at half three, Dawn should be home by then. Buffy gets home at six and the witches come in when they want, they don't have a set timetable. Or you could stay and watch 'Passions'. Timmy's lost and eye."

"It's a bleeding doll!" Giles said under his breath.

*               *               *               *               *

Dawn opened the door and called out her usual greeting. "SPIKE!!! I'm home, where's my food."

"Make your own bleeding food." The voice came from the dining room. "I swear, once I can walk, I am out of here."

"You can already walk." Dawn offered while putting her coat on the coat rack, hanging her keys up and dumping her bag into the nearest closet. She turned into the dining room to join her favourite person and let out a scream. "Giles!!!" She yelled before rushing at him and hugging him.

"Dawn…can't…breathe. I'm sitting on a chair for god's sake." Dawn blushed slightly and let him go. 

"You never said that you were coming back! Why didn't you tell us?" Dawn sat across from him and saw Spike leaning against the wall. "I didn't see you there Spike. Feeling any stronger?"

Spike shrugged nonchalantly "I'm in the 'comes' part of 'comes and goes'."

Dawn nodded and Giles answered Dawn's question. "I didn't know that I _was coming until just before I bought the ticket and then I got on the plane."_

Dawn nodded again but stopped suddenly and eyed Giles suspiciously. "What's happened? What evil is about to end the world?"

Giles put on his glasses, having just cleaned them. "I wasn't aware that there was one."

"You mean that you just bought a ticket, got on a plane and came here on a whim?" Dawn laughed. "Giles, that isn't like you."

"It doesn't matter. What I want to know is why you have a vampire living in your house. And more importantly, why it's _that vampire." Giles nudged his head towards Spike._

"I'm glad that that vampire isn't around to hear you talking about him." Spike said sarcastically. "He might think that you didn't like him or something."

Dawn rolled her eyes at him and returned her gaze to the ex watcher. "Oh it's nothing. Buffy just beat him, broke his legs, got reprimanded and now must house him until he is fit enough to be returned to the innocent and unsuspecting, I use that term lightly, public. Nothing less than she deserves if you ask me."

"I didn't ask you." Giles said. "Why did she do it?"

Dawn rolled her eyes again. "Don't ask me to delve into the inner workings of my sister's mind Giles. There's no good there."

"I still don't understand why you have to have him live with you. Doesn't he have anywhere else to go?" He said simply.

Dawn stood up, incensed (which wasn't really an unusual sight) and Spike smiled slightly. She was murder when she was like this. "Giles stop it! He is standing right there and he doesn't deserve for you to treat him like that. Spike was the one person I could talk to when I was upset last year. He was there for me when I had no family left and he didn't leave me like all the other men in my life. At least he can stand to look at me unlike my actual father."

Giles opened his mouth to speak but Dawn cut him off. "You may not like him but then you don't actually have a say anymore do you?" She turned and left the dining room, running up the stairs to start on more homework.

"Can't say the girl doesn't have spirit." Spike said shrugging. "If you want the biased and abridged version, I suggest you ask Buffy." And he too left the room.

*               *               *               *               *

Giles was standing in front of the TV trying to find something good on it. "Blasted country. They never have anything decent on!" All that was on were reruns, game shows and talk shows. "I can't believe that so many people can have such ridiculous problems." He muttered.

Giles was staring at the TV in disgust when the door opened and in walked Buffy, Tara, Anya, Willow and Xander. He turned and smiled at them. They were looking at him with their mouths open. "Looks like everyone's here at the same time, saves me having to search for each of you in turn."

Buffy was the first to get her bearings (which really isn't surprising) and she did pretty much the same thing that Dawn did, rushed him. Tears rolled down her face as she hugged him much harder than Dawn had. She was the Slayer after all and most of the time, she forgot her own strength. It wasn't until he was turning a tiny bit purple that Xander coughed slightly and said "Uh…Buffy, human, breathing can become an issue."

Buffy smiled and reluctantly let him go. "How long do we have?"

"Excuse me?" He said, slightly forced.

"Until we all die from the evil you have come to warn us about?"

"There is no evil Buffy, I jut wanted to hear you're voices again. I missed you all so much."

"You couldn't have called? Don't they have phones over in England?" Anya said distractedly. She wanted to know if he was going to take her store away. "You can't have the 'Magic Box'." She said 

Giles rolled his eyes at her. "However will I cope?"

Buffy was missing something, she just couldn't put her finger on it. Then it struck her. "Giles…" She said slowly. "did you happen to dust my house guest?"

"You mean Spike? No I didn't, although I would have liked to." Buffy's eyes hardened slightly and the smile fell a tiny bit. She hitched it back up but now it just looked forced so she stopped.

"Where's Dawn?" Tara asked.

Buffy hadn't even thought about her sister. Slightly guilty, she asked. "Where are both of them?"

Giles shifted uncomfortably. "Dawn's not very happy with me. She was when she saw me but I was a little rude to Spike, for obvious reasons, and she shouted at me, ran up the stairs and I haven't seen her since. Spike went up there to help her with her homework. Something about Shakespeare."

Buffy smiled a genuine smile again. "She's grown kind of attached to him. He helps her with her homework and she helps him walk. They do practically everything together so I can't argue. He does look after her." She said fondly.

While Buffy was talking, everyone hugged Giles in turn, even Anya who said to him again "You can't have the store. You left it to me."

Giles could tell by the look in Buffy's eyes that her sister wasn't the only one who had grown fond of the peroxide ridden vampire. He had his suspicions that she wasn't the only one either. Willow and Tara got a look when he was mentioned too. 'How did he do it?' He also didn't want to ask what Buffy had done to get her landed with him it the first place.

*               *               *               *               *

Spike sat on Dawn's bed, putting her homework down. "It's good, it should definitely get you top marks."

Dawn's smile lit the whole room up and on some level, it literally did. "Thanks." She did look slightly troubled though.

"What is it niblet?"

Dawn looked at him without moving her head. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh come on. Buffy's just gotten home and you're not even going to bother and go down to talk to her, ask her about her day and what's for dinner?"

Dawn started picking the stitching on her bedcovers. "I don't know, I just don't wanna go down and see Giles again."

Spike chuckled. "Dawn, he's probably not going to be here for very long, isn't it best if you go down and socialise, eat something so you don't disappear."

"But what he said to you…" Dawn trailed off.

"What he said about me and I can take offence for the wrongs done to me myself, it's not necessary for you to, and I am sure that I deserve it after what I've done." Spike smiled and it was genuine. He didn't normally smile like that.

"He had no right. You hadn't even done anything to him. And he should respect his elder." Dawn said, scandalised.

Spike chuckled again. "But he looks older than me. Can't argue with that now can we?"

Dawn laughed along with him. "Are you going to come down and join in on all the nasties that are going to be thrown around. Especially now that Buffy's home."

Spike shrugged. Sure, I can take more of the Spike Bashing. Look…Dawn…I" Dawn realised that what Spike was about to tell her was significant so she looked up, wanting eye contact. "I'm leaving tomorrow."

She looked shocked, angry and upset, all at the same time. "You can't leave. Don't leave me. Please Spike." Tears welled up in her eyes. "Everyone always leaves me, I thought you were different. I defended you in front of Giles and now you tell me that you're going? Why? Was it me?"

"Dawn." Spike put a hand on her shoulder to calm her. "You sound as if I'm leaving the country or something. I'[m not. I'm just going back to my crypt. That's all. Remember, 10 minute walk from here and if you're Buffy on a 'Kill-the-Spike' mood, 2 minutes walking real fast."

Dawn smiled through the tears on her face. "I just feel like you're abandoning me. I know it's stupid and that I'll see you whenever I want, no matter what Buffy says. I guess that I was just a little bit overwhelmed and rightfully upset."

"Look Bit. I shouldn't have been here in the first place remember? It was Rayya who put me here and Buffy's duty to keep me. That's not true anymore and I don't need looking after. I am perfectly fit to go. I'm sorry."

Dawn hugged him. "I'll come and see you everyday."

Spike ruffled her long hair. "You know I'm going to hold you to that."

*               *               *               *               *

Dinner had finished fairly painlessly. Everyone was in the lounge watching more of the 'blasted TV', Buffy and Spike were sitting in a corner where no one could hear them if they spoke. Spike had said that he needed a word with her.

"What is it Spike? Need more blood? Didn't eat enough of my food, want some more?" Buffy asked.

"No, I just wanted you to know that I'm leaving tomorrow. Giles obviously doesn't want me here and I am fine to go back now.

                I've told Dawn and now I'm telling you."

Buffy looked at him and her eyes got hard. "Fine, great. At least now you'll be out of my way. I'm sure that you're fine now, you can walk and that was all you were supposed to stay here for anyway. You don't need my help anymore. And the whole blood thing, kinda gross to be sitting near my good vegetables." She got up and sat down next to Tara, not looking at him again for the rest of the night.

*               *               *               *               *               *               *               *               *               *               *               *

**That was not a pivotal chapter but it needed to be done. Sorry. The good stuff comes next. Can't wait.**

**Review please and please don't flame. Thank you for reading it.**

**Pure-HP**


	8. Forbidden

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything you recognise.

**A/N:** I just recently got a review about this story (Not to mention some of my others) and I realised that I don't want to be that person who starts a story but never bothers to finish them. This is not the last chapter but I do promise to update at least once a week from now on.

**Chapter 8: Forbidden**

Spike heaved a huge sigh as he stepped off of the front porch of 1630 Revello Drive. The sky was midnight black, little pinpricks of light dotted the cloudless sky as Spike sighed again. Clem was crypt sitting for him and Spike was pretty sure that he had enjoyed it too, the flabby skinned demon didn't have a TV so Spike's crypt was sure to be a welcome change.

Dawn was asleep inside - he hadn't wanted to wake her just to tell her that he was leaving. She would probably have insisted in keeping him company which was out of the question and her sister probably wouldn't have approved. Said Slayer had not spoken to him since the night before and judging by her attitude then, she wanted him out as soon as possible. At that moment, Buffy was patrolling the streets of Sunnydale and when she had refused to look at him, she had meant it. Spike hadn't seen even a glimpse of he eyes since telling her.

Giles had taken over Spike's spot on the couch and now that he thought about it, there couldn't have been a better time for him to leave than today. Buffy housed many people at a time - it was true - but it didn't mean that she was happy about it.

When Spike left the Summer's household, the only thing he had with him were the clothes he had arrived with plus an extra pair for when the initial ones needed washing – he hadn't acquired anything new. With the crickets as the only thing disturbing the peace in Revello Drive (which was unusual in itself), Spike left for home.

*               *               *               *               *

Dawn opened her eyes to the brightest day so far this year. Yawning, she made her way to the kitchen - intent on fixing herself something to eat. 

Humming all excruciatingly jaunty tune, she entered the kitchen. "Hi Buff…" Dawn trailed off as she saw her sister hovering over a up of barely drunk, stone cold coffee.

Dawn frowned and looked at her sister. "What's wrong and why are you staring like that?" 

Buffy blinked a little and raised her eyes to meet her sister's worried gaze. "He left then?"

Dawn's frown deepened before she realised what her sister had said. Glancing around, she looked lost for a second before it hit her. Saddened, Dawn turned back to her sister. "I suppose…he didn't even say bye?"

Buffy replied with a shrug.

Dawn glance down at the cup in Buffy's hands and noticed that her sister was in scuffed clothes. She had obviously fought in them and they were yesterdays. "How long have you been down here Buffy?"

"Since three this morning." She replied monotonously.

Glancing at the clock, Dawn saw that it was now 11am. "You've been down here for eight hours?!" Dawn exclaimed aghast. 

Buffy didn't warrant that with a response, Dawn didn't exactly expect one either.

"Buffy, it really isn't like he moved to the other end of the world. He's just back in his crypt. You're taking this pretty badly don't you think? Especially as someone who professed to hating his guts not two months ago."

Buffy looked at he sister sharply. This was the first sign of normal human emotion that she had showed and Dawn took it as a step forward. "What makes you think this is about him?" she asked softly.

Dawn just rolled her eyes. "Look Buffy, go upstairs and take a bath. It's the weekend, relax a little. Giles is back and for once, it's not because of a big bad. I'm going to go and visit Spike soon."

"No!" Buffy said bluntly. "He's not here anymore and you have homework to do. I don't want you visiting him."

Dawn glared at her sister. "You can't stop me. I told him that I would visit him today and he's holding me to it. I'm not going back on my word Buffy. Lighten up. He hasn't betrayed you or anything like that."

She stalked to the door and then turned back. "It's nobody's fault but yours. If you wanted him to stay, you should have told him so. It's your problem if your pride is too huge for you to see anything else!" She banged out of the kitchen and ran to the bathroom.

Buffy stood up and groaned. Sitting in one position for eight hours was not good for the legs at all.

Willow appeared in the doorway 12 minutes later looking groggy and tired. "What's with all the noise? Dawn is loud enough to wake the whole street. What happened?"

Draining the coffee down the disposal, she answered her friend with her back to her. "Spike left either really late last night or really early this morning. He was gone when I got back from my patrol."

If there was any chance of a smile lighting Willow's face, it was gone with those words. "I had gotten used to him. I'm gonna miss him." She said miserably as she took a seat and resumed Buffy's position.

Buffy turned to look at her friend - her expression remaining stoic – as she asked "Where's Tara?"

"Sleep." Willow answered.

"Even with Dawn's banging?"

"She's not loud enough to wake Tara. You know that. Tara always gets up when she intends, not even mother nature can say otherwise."

Buffy's face broke into its first smile of the day.

Willow raised her head and looked at her friend. "Are you going to visit him today then?"

Willow caught the flash of pain before it fled Buffy's face.

"I don't know Willow. I think I'll leave it for a day or two."

Willow nodded understandingly.

*               *               *               *               *

Dawn was sitting in the front room with Tara. Buffy was at work, Willow was in the library and Giles was helping Anya out at the 'Magic Box', much to Anya's chagrin but she didn't really have a choice as her silent, oversees partner – although not so silent and oversees at the moment - owned half the shop.

"So how long is this silent treatment with your sister going to go on for Dawnie? She's trying you know."

Dawn huffed and crossed her arms. "She's bitter and grumpy way before her time. She has no right to stop me from seeing Spike just because she feels like he abandoned _her_."

Tara smiled slightly. "I know Dawn - it's all you've been saying and I know it's unfair-"

She said quickly as Dawn opened her mouth to protest,

"but people deal with things differently."

"Well then she should have treated him better." Dawn huffed again. "She should have been nicer and given him blood when he asked for it and not just when she wanted him to have it. It's not my fault that she only just decided to learn the error of her ways."

Tara put her arm around Dawn. "Give her time Dawnie, she may left you visit tomorrow."

Dawn pouted and stared hard at the blank TV screen. "But I wanted to see him today. I promised him."

Tara smiled secretly. She excused Dawn and watched her as she went up to her room. She knew what Dawn was going upstairs to do and she didn't blame her. She wasn't condoning it ether but she was not going to stop a 15 year old from doing something her heart was set on.

*               *               *               *               *

Spike heard the door of his crypt squeak as it was being opened. He laid his novelty mug with blood on the armrest of his armchair (ok, so he had taken one more thing with him) and turned his head too look at the door. He grinned as he watched Dawn sneak into the crypt.

Dawn had left through Buffy's window as soon as Tara has excused her. She knew it was wrong to leave like that, especially since Tara had been so nice about everything but Dawn would be damned that day she broke a promise to anyone. No one could say that the girl didn't have guts.

Dawn walked into the musty crypt and scanned for Spike. She located him in his armchair - watching her in amusement.

"If I didn't know better Bit, I'd say that you weren't supposed to be here and that you had done a classic 'Buffy' by sneaking out."

Dawn fixed him with a raised eyebrow. "Well then I guess that it's good that you don't know any better."

*               *               *               *               *

Tara had gone up to check on Dawn, only to find what she knew she would – an open window and an empty house.

That had been half an hour ago and she was beginning to worry. 'What ifs' were starting to run through her mind. She should have told Dawn to be back before Buffy returned. A confrontation would be bad.

Tara kept checking her watch every five minutes. Buffy would be home in two hours. It was plenty of time for Dawn to return and technically, Tara hadn't done anything wrong but she didn't want there to be another argument.

Buffy had done this a lot in her early slaying days so she above all people should understand.

*               *               *               *               *

"Snap!" Dawn giggled as she lay her card on top of Spike's.

Spike growled. "This is pathetic. I'm losing to a 15 year old girl while playing Snap! A proper vampire wouldn't be caught dead playing snap. He'd be playing poker - kitten poker."

Dawn's face screwed up in distaste. "Vampire's are so cruel to kittens. As if humans aren't bad enough, you need blood from animals too? And besides, you forgot to mention that proper vampire's wouldn't fall in love with the Slayer."

Spike nodded in approval. "Exactly. Look at the ponce of a grandsire of mine. And he's supposed to be the most vicious vampire ever recorded. What a great big poof."

Dawn giggled and declared "Snap!" again which caused Spike to growl some more. "I meant you Spike. Not Angel."

"I know what you bloody meant." Spike said disgusted. "It just doesn't feel very nice to know that I may be just as bad as that gel loving freak."

Dawn giggled again.

Spike narrowed his eyes at her. "If you start on my hair…"

"But it's true!!" Dawn squealed, rolling on the floor laughing. "You're just like him! Of course, I am not taking into account the fact that you're colouring is different."

Spike grabbed a shirt that was lying around and threw it at her. "There are a few differences though…" Spike said, the smile had left his lips and Dawn was clever enough o know why.

Dawn took a deep breath and expelled it quickly. "I still don't get what you see in her you know? She's not all that great and the girl can't pick up after herself, not to mention the fact that she doesn't bathe properly, she always comes home dirty – smelling of sweat, processed meat and nasty vampires. She takes people granted and she is always having a go at me."

Spike lay down a card and yelled in glee. "Snap!! Hahaha, beat you niblet."

Dawn rolled her eyes. "You're such a child." Dawn glanced at her watch and muttered an oath.

"Dawn! Watch you mouth!" Spike said scowling.

Dawn looked at the vampire. "It's ok for you to swear in front of me but not for me to use the same language?"

Spike smirked. "Exactly."

Dawn shook her head dismissively. "Well at least I don't smoke, drink – alcohol and blood or kill people. Besides, Buffy gets home in ten minutes and she's not supposed to know I left the house to see you."

"So go home then." Spike retorted as if it was so simple.

"There are a lot of nasties from here to Revello Drive, you'd let a girl – who isn't the Slayer – walk through that? And it takes my ten minutes to get beck so she's going to know I've been gone!"

Spike shook his head sighing. "Fine, I'll drive you. But I'm dropping you off at the corner. You'll be there in two minutes so you'll have enough time to get home and be sitting in front of the TV when big sis walks through the door."

"Thank you!" Dawn exclaimed.

"I still think a good jog would do you good." Spike said under his breath.

*               *               *               *               *

Five demons watched as Spike and Dawn set off in the DeSotto.

"Well?" The one nearest the back asked "What's going to happen?"

The leader pressed a button on the control he was holding. A red light lit up the entire crypt for a few seconds and then disappeared. "We'll see in three days."

The fattest one laughed to which they turned and walked back into the bushes as one.

*               *               *               *               *               *               *               *               *               *               *               *

**I got it up! I really want to thank everyone who reviewed. I would also expressly love to thank the person who sent me my latest review. It was so nice that I felt I just had to get this chapter up. I love each and every one of the reviews. Thank you again.**

**Pure-HP**

**Please review and please don't flame.**


	9. Firre and Ice

Disclaimer: I _wish _I owned Spike! Alas no. I own nothing you recognise from the actual TV show (Or from Harry Potter coz I like to add that sometimes too).

A/N: I lied about the once a week thing huh? I am such a bad person. Shoot me, Stuff me, Mount me.

**Chapter 9: Fire and Ice**

"Go." Willow said.

"No." Buffy hissed.

"Buffy! It's been two days and I am tired of you pretending as if he doesn't mean anything to you. You're bringing the atmosphere in this house down and you're upsetting Dawn. She's young and she shouldn't be upset." Willow tried to reason with her best friend for all it was worth – it wasn't working. "You've stopped you sister from visiting her best friend. Are you going to stop me from seeing him too?"

Buffy pouted at the red-head. "Fine. Go. I'm not your mother. I can't stop you." She sounded – for all the world – like a PMSing adolescent, not a 21 year old.

"But you can stop me?!" Dawn screeched from the doorway of the kitchen. It was as she had miraculously forgotten that she had gone behind her sister's back and visited him. "Because of you, he doesn't even come over anymore."

Buffy shoved her chair back harshly and stood up. "He's gone Dawn. He should never have been here in the first place and I am glad that we are now back in the world of the living. I have had it ok!" She stomped over to the front door and grabbed her keys and jacket. "I'm going to work."

"Willow!!" Dawn whined.

Willow patted her shoulder comfortingly. "Don't worry about it Dawn. Your sister has always been hard headed. Tara said that she's going to visit him today. I have classes from dawn – no pun intended - till dusk so there's no hope for me.

"Just do you homework, stay on your sister's good side and pray for a miracle." She left through the back door, Dawn still sulking. "I hate half term."

There was no way that anyone was going to leave Dawn alone in the house. It was like Buffy thought that if she had too much free will, she would eventually ransack the house. That was probably true in many cases but right now, she had no intention of staying in the house. She would have left if it hadn't been for Tara walking into the kitchen at that moment.

"I heard that you're going to visit Spike." Dawn said optimistically.

Tara levelled her with a stare. "Yes Dawn. I am going _alone_ to see Spike."

Dawn caught the hint loud and clear and pouted – looking exactly like a certain slayer of a sister.

"Please Tara." She wondered if begging would work with her.

Tara poured herself a mug of water. She didn't know why she always used the mugs and not the glasses but it was an old habit and pointless to break it. It wasn't like it was hurting anyone. She pulled up a chair at the island and sat down leaving Dawn to follow suit. "Dawnie, I would take you if I could but your sister doesn't want you to go and she'll be here when I'm there. It'll be a bit obvious if you're not home and I don't want her to shout at me."

Dawn raised an eyebrow. "No, she'd shout at me not you."

"I'm sorry." Tara said honestly.

"It's ok. Buffy will never learn. I bet anything that the day she does is when he dies." Dawn paused "Scratch that, that day he ceases to exist."

Tara took a sip of the cold water and pondered Dawn's predicament. She felt sorry for her. She shouldn't have to be on the receiving end of Buffy's pain. Tara took a few more sips of the water and poured the rest down the sink. "Honey, I have to go to college too. Xander said that he'd be here by 9 o'clock. That's in 10 minutes and I'm late so I have to go. Will you be ok until then?"

"Uh-huh." Dawn nodded vigorously.

Tara stopped and turned to Dawn. "Don't try it. A word of advice. Xander doesn't like Spike and if there's a chance that he can get him into trouble, Xander will take the opportunity." Tara left Dawn to her misery.

"How can he get Spike into trouble? Buffy insists on believing that he doesn't exist anymore which mean's that all the blame is on me." She mumbled.

"What's that Dawnster?"

Dawn turned to see Xander walking in through the kitchen door minus one Anya. Dawn was thankful.

"Doesn't anyone use the front door anymore? Is the back door the cool new thing?" She asked exasperatedly. "So I guess you're on Dawn watch huh? I'd hate to be in your position."

"Nah!" Xander dismissed. "It'll be fun. We can play games and watch movies and talk about boys." Sometimes it was hard to know when he was being sarcastic because all the guises of Xander were used so often that they had all melded into one personality.

Dawn walked into the living room and threw herself onto the couch. It had taken quite a battering these last few days. All she did was jump on it, throw tantrums on it and throw herself onto it. "What fun(!)" She muttered under her breath. Xander Levelle Harris was enemy number two.

* * *

Buffy worked tirelessly at the Double Meat Palace. It wasn't that hard since she was the Slayer, all the strength and skill cam in use when she was scrubbing down grills and baked on oven grease. It was a smelly job but someone had to do it.

At this moment, she was tackling the grease with more ease than she had ever done before. This could all be because she was imagining Spike's head on each and every spot. She had seen hide nor tail of him since he had left without so much as a goodbye or thank you two and a half days ago. It made her laugh when she imagined what he would say thank you for. Thank you for breaking my legs or depriving my of the substance I need to live.

She had been an all round bad host and she had treated him like crap yet when he had left, she had been…disappointed?

In the end she supposed it all led down to the same thing. Abandonment. Just like every other man – or beast - that got within hearing range of her.

Her time at work was almost up and there was nothing left to clean due to her efficiency. She turned to the worker next to her. "Is it okay if I leave now Kathy? Everything's clean and I have a sister to berate."

Kathy nodded. She was still serving a customer. "Nothing else needs cooking today and if you're done." She turned to look at the cooking appliances. "Which you are, you can go."

"Thanks!" Buffy stated gratefully and left.

* * *

Buffy walked in through the front door to find Dawn in front of the TV and Tara getting up. The witch walked over to Buffy smiling. "Willow's still at college. She should get out in a bit. She called a while ago and told me that she'd meet me at the graveyard. Dawn's watching TV." She said unnecessarily.

Buffy nodded in understanding. "Just go. Be careful though. There aren't just vampires out there you know."

Tara nodded. "I'll be fine."

Tara grabbed her keys, she already had her coat on, and left.

She hated to walk the streets of Sunnydale. In normal cities, you worried about gangs and murderers and thieves but in Sunnydale, you worried about that and Vampires, demons, beasts and various out-of-space lizard types on top of it.

She shivered, huddled into her coat and set of at a faster pace than normal. Why did she have to set off so late? Then she remembered that it was because Buffy didn't want Dawn alone in the house lest she try and escape to join her undead friend; exactly where Tara was headed now. It wasn't like she didn't have any defence. She knew plenty of tricks to keep the normal blood thirsty mortals at bay but when up against demons and such, it would only cause a temporary shock.

Tara finally reached the graveyard and marvelled at the fact that she felt safer here than out on the streets. She supposed it was because Spike lived here and her would never let her get killed. She didn't understand why Buffy didn't get that yet. Spike cared. He still felt, even without his soul and that was saying something.

She walked up to his crypt and stopped short. Something was wrong. For one, there was no safe, protective Spike inside there but there was also something else. What was it?

Just then, something moved out of the shadows. Tara spun around quickly to face the assailant, breath held. She released the breath and smiled when she saw that it was just Willow.

"Oh sorry. Did I scare you?" Willow asked protectively.

"Oh no." Tara smiled. "I'm used to things jumping out and me and catching me unaware." Tara turned back to the crypt looking troubled.

"What?" Willow asked after this went on for quite a few seconds.

Tara turned back to her worriedly. "There's something wrong. I can feel it but I don't know what. I-It feels wrong."

"Spike?" Willow asked confused.

Tara shook her head. "No, he's not in there. It's just the aura."

"Buildings have auras?" Willow asked sceptically.

Tara looked at her sidelong. "No they don't. That's the point. They're not supposed to but this crypt does and it's not a good aura either." Tara looked at her disturbed. "I don't like this. Spike definitely didn't do it."

Now Willow was looking panicked. "We can't do anything until we are sure of what it is. If we do, we may just set whatever it is off.

"Tell Buffy?"

Tara inclined her head but her eyes clearly agreed. "It's the only thing we can do."

* * *

The door to the Summers residence burst open and Willow and Tara came rushing inside. "Buffy?!" Willow called loudly, poking her head into the living room and finding it empty. The red-head turned to Tara. "I hope she's not out patrolling or we'll never find her. Probably just missed her."

"What?" Buffy asked, coming down the stairs in her PJ's with a packet of chips in her hand, munching away.

Willow's eyes narrowed. "Well now that's not very healthy is it?"

Buffy raised an eyebrow and asked around the food in her mouth. "Is that what you wanted to say to me?"

Willow smacked herself on the head lightly. "Oops, almost forgot."

"Forgot what?"

"Something is wrong with Spike's crypt." Tara said at last.

Buffy rolled her eyes and set the chips down in the phone table. "Well of course there's something wrong with his crypt. It's got Spike in it."

"Buffy, we're being serious!" Willow scolded. She was all for teasing but not when it was something Tara sensed.

"Look." Tara said quietly. "There was a kind of force around his crypt. He wasn't in it at the time and we don't know what it was."

"We're worried Buffy." Willow said earnestly.

"Guys." Buffy sighed as she took a seat on the couch and turned to talk to them. "Spike can look after himself and I'm sure that it's nothing at all."

Willow took a seat next to her. "I trust Tara. You should too. Remember two years ago when Faith switched bodies with you? Tara had never met you yet at first sight, she knew that something was wrong. It's because of her that we found out and managed to get you back into your respective bodies."

Tara was standing uncomfortably off to the side, half embarrassed and half wanting to disappear.

Buffy could argue with that. It was thanks to Tara and some quick thinking with Giles that managed to restore her identity. Buffy huffed. "I'm not even dressed for the occasion."

"Well get dressed and hurry up. We don't have a lot of time and I'm really worried that something bad is going to happen _soon_."

Buffy jogged up the stairs. Willow called after her "Don't take your time!"

Buffy came back a short while later in clean clothes and stood in front of them. "What am I going to do? I'm the Slayer. It's not like I can Slay bad energy. Right?"

At the moment, Giles and Xander came through the door. Buffy turned to them bewildered. "Giles? Xander? OK, Giles I understand but why are you here Xander?"

Xander smiled. "I tagged along for the ride. Anya's still at the shop."

"We couldn't try and reverse whatever is put on the crypt because we might trip the spell and set it off so we called Giles." Tara answered.

"You actually decided to help?" Buffy asked. She was shocked and in all fairness, she had every right to be. Giles hated Spike.

"U-um…actually, Willow and Tara didn't er actually tell me what my services were needed for." He replied uncomfortably.

"Well let's go then." Buffy put her coat on. "I still want to get some sleep you know."

"What about Dawn?" Willow asked. Suddenly remembering the youngest Summers.

"Oops." Buffy covered her mouth with her hand. She bought it back down. "She's sleeping right now." Buffy turned to Xander grinning. "Turns out that we do need your help. Stay with Dawn while we deal with this. We shouldn't be too long.

Xander frowned. "Why do I always have to do your babysitting?"

"Because I know you wouldn't say no?"

"Oh just go!" He closed the door behind them.

They stepped into the graveyard and spotted Spike's crypt. Buffy and Willow led the group over to it. Tara didn't like being in the forefront of any line-up and Giles was too busy flipping through one of his many – tatty - texts to watch where he was going without some assistance.

They came to a stop about a meter from the crypt. The door was open and Buffy could see Spike moving around in there.

"Buffy!" Willow hissed.

Buffy turned to face her and saw Willow looking at Tara. Tara had gone unusually rigid and her eyes had widened in apprehension.

"Tara, what is it?" Buffy said adamantly.

Tara turned to them looking stricken. She had seen Spike in there too. All nervousness had vanished. "It's much stronger. We're too late."

Buffy shook her head uncomprehendingly. "No we're not. I can still get him out." She rushed towards the crypt but threw her arm over her eyes when it glowed blindingly red. It gradually turned and unearthly blue and pulsed. Buffy still tried to make her way towards the crypt but the force was too powerful. Her easy rang from it until she couldn't hear her friend's shouts and pleads.

Then suddenly, the crypt caught fire and exploded with such force that it upturned gravestones and threw the Slayer clear across the graveyard as if she was nothing but a piece of fluff. Willow, Tara and Giles followed not long afterwards.

Buffy landed hard and looked up at what had once been Spike's crypt. It was now a pile of burning, smoking rubble. "No." She whispered, stricken. "SPIKE!"

* * *

**Apparently, this is not the only story that I have left with a cliff-hanger. I do enjoy those the most. Only Spike was in the crypt and fire does kill vampires. :S**

**Until next time folks.******

**Dina**

**Please review and don't flame. Thanx.**


	10. Sadness and Loss

A/N: And she returns (She meaning me) and it wasn't that long a wait this time guys. Yay for me. I figured that with me being on Summer vacation now and everything, I may as well do what I love on the computer as well as on paper.

**Chapter 10: Sadness and Loss**

Buffy lay there for quite a few seconds, nothing processed and she felt numb. What had just happened? She didn't even realise that she wasn't breathing. The world was spinning, there was smoke in her eyes and the world had finally gone to hell.

Suddenly it all clicked back into place and she let out a pained gasp and sob. Scrambling up, Buffy ignored the pain in her bruised and battered body. She had to get into that crypt and get Spike out before that fire got to him. She used her hands to pick herself up and didn't even nothing the pain as chipped stone and broken glass imbedded itself into the palms of her hands. She couldn't feel anything physical because the pain in her soul was so excruciating.

She finally managed to get to her feet and began running to the burned out hole that had once inhabited the only vampire that Buffy knew to have changed so drastically from the first time she had met him to now.

With tears streaming down her face, the Slayer bound towards the wreckage but was grabbed forcefully from behind before she could make any progress. She turned to look at her best friend. Who'd have though that the dainty redhead had so much strength in those small hands. Her hair was dishevelled and she had bits of grass and debris in it.

Buffy looked down at her hand confusedly and then back up at the witch. "Let me go Willow. I have to get Spike out."

Willow looked at her best friend with tears in her eyes and shook her head, causing the tears to slip down her face.

"Willow…" Buffy said weakly, a quiver in her voice. "Let me go." She looked at her friends pleadingly. "Please." She said desperately.

More tears fell down Willow's face. "It's no use Buffy. You saw it. There's no way he could have survived that."

Buffy looked down at her hand with blurred vision. She saw that cuts and blood mixed against her alabaster skin making it stand out horribly and her body convulsed with the emotional pain. She looked back up at Willow. "He's fine Willow. He just needs help getting out." Buffy had slipped into denial. She broke out of Willow's grip and made her way over to the crypt again but again she was stopped.

"Buffy, you can't go in there. There's nothing there." Willow reasoned. "We weren't even that close to it and we were thrown that far. What about Spike? He was at the heart of it." She spun Buffy around. "Just think about it for a minute Buffy. If he was alive, he would have come out. Going in there now is just going to cause you pain."

Buffy looked over the redheads shoulder and saw Tara helping Giles to his feet. They both looked the worse for wear; bruised and battered. Giles' book was lying some three feet away from them but neither was making a move to retrieve it. They were all looking at her with concern.

Buffy buried her face in her hands and let out another heart wrenching sob. What had she done to him? She had mocked him and his feelings for so long. She had renounced his words and laughed at him. She had cared but she had been too afraid after Angel and Riley that she had refused to believe that she could ever be loved. Now the only person that had always stood by her was lying as ash among the rumble, indiscernible from it.

She knew that Willow was right. Looking was only going to cause her agony and the nightmares that would follow would be torture but she had to look. She didn't have a choice. The only way that she was going to be able to deal with it and accept it would be if she looked and saw nothing for herself. She wiped her eyes so forcefully that her skin now matched the red of the eyes. She looked at them with resolve.

They understood what she was going to do. They knew what she would find, or more precisely – wouldn't, but they couldn't stop her. They stood mutely as she turned around and headed for the disaster.

Buffy reached it slowly, eyes on the smoking ground. She saw the destroyed TV set and the fridge that has been completely smashed apart. Not even the material things had survived, how could she expect him to have lived, to have been so lucky when he had never been in life, or un-life. She fell to her knees, hitting the stones hard and not caring one bit. It was worse than she had expected. Her heart tore at her and she felt as if she were dieing. She should have listened to Willow because now she knew that Spike had not lived and there were remnants of him all around her, fluff from his armchair, bits of plastic from the TV and the handle from the mug. She could not convince herself otherwise.

Without looking at any of her friends, she got up and left the crypt at a pace faster than any that they had ever seen before. She wanted to put as much distance between her and what she had lost.

Tara joined Willow and held her as they both cried. Mourning their friend.

OXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Willow and Tara entered the house quietly. They didn't want to disturb Buffy after what she had just been through.

They found Xander sleeping across the armchair, it looked uncomfortable but the girls didn't wake him. He could deal with the pain tomorrow and they didn't feel like talking to anyone else right now.

After Buffy had left the graveyard, Tara and Willow had seen Giles off and then returned to the Summers' household. Both of their eye were still red and they had not let go of the other's hand. Willow had the same feeling that she had had when Joyce had died. Life was short, precious and it could be snatched away at any given moment. True, Spike had lived longer than most but the world and his friends were not ready o see him leave.

"What are we going to tell Dawn?" Tara asked tearfully.

Willow looked at her girlfriend and here eyes widened. "What _are_ we going to tell her?" Willow collapsed onto the couch and sighed. "She's going to blame Buffy for being the one to kick him out even though she didn't." She looked at Tara distressed. "Dawn loved Spike."

Tara joined Willow and enveloped her in a hug. "She'll understand."

"How can she?!" Willow asked, her voice a little muffled due to being slightly suffocated by Tara's shirt. "I don't even understand it." She looked up. "What happened?"

Tara shrugged. "I have no idea but I'm betting that the thing that did it didn't like him much."

"I'm tired." Willow stood slowly. "I'll check on Buffy and Dawn and then go to bed. You coming?"

Tara nodded once. "In a minute."

Willow made her way upstairs. She checked on Dawn first and found her sleeping peacefully. The sight made Willow sad. Everything was fine when one was dreaming. Consciousness was when he real monsters and demons made people suffer. She shut the door quietly and walked over to Buffy's door. She pushed it open slowly and peeked in. Buffy wasn't in her bed. Willow started for a moment but recovered pretty quickly. Of course Buffy wasn't in her bed. She hadn't returned.

They had assumed that Buffy was come back home but now that Willow thought about it, she realised that this was probably the last place that Buffy wanted to be. If Willow was in Buffy's position right now, she would be outside killing every single demon she could find, which was probably what the Slayer was doing. Letting out all the pain and pent up emotion onto the more deserving population in this city.

Tara came up the stairs. "What's wrong?"

Willow shrugged and headed for their room. "Buffy's not home yet. I guess it's to be expected right?"

Tara smiled vaguely. "I'm not surprised. Is Dawn ok?"

Willow nodded and entered the room. "It's just going to be so weird, not seeing Spike again. I never thought I'd be so sad to see a vampire die."

Tara looked on sympathetically. "It's harder when you know the person."

"But it's not fair on Buffy!" Willow cried. The dam was breaking and there was no stopping it now. "She doesn't see her father anymore, she had to kill Angel, her mother died, and now she's had to watch Spike die in an explosion. How is this fair on her and how much more can she take before she just gives up?"

Tears leaked from Tara's eyes as she hugged Willow. "She's still got us Willow. We'll make sure that she gets through it."

Willow nodded and they got into bed and fell asleep, exhausted.

OXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Dawn yawned and walked down the stairs in a not so ladylike manner which wasn't surprising as she was still half asleep and flat-footed in the mornings. It was safe to say that the youngest Summers was not a morning person, in that respect, she was a lot like her sister but that was not something she would be admitting to anytime soon.

She entered the kitchen as was the morning ritual and spotter Willow and Tara sitting there looking forlorn. Grabbing a piece of toast, she sat opposite them and raised an eyebrow. "What's wrong? You guys look like someone just died."

Her tone was casual. That type of thing was just what people said when someone was upset. She had no idea how accurate she was.

Willow and Tara exchanged a look. What were they going to say? Should they be the one to tell her or Buffy? Buffy hadn't even returned home yet. They didn't know where she was but that didn't make them worry. She spent plenty of time away fighting.

Suddenly Willow remembered what had happened after Buffy had killed Angel. Unable to handle it, being kicked out by her mother and expelled by Sunnydale High, she had left town. What if she had done that again? What if Buffy had just left without a word to go to some unknown city and work and a waitress again?

Willow looked worriedly at Tara who just shook her head as if she could read her thoughts. She heard Tara's voice in her head. _"She wouldn't leave Dawn."_

Willow visibly calmed down. Tara was right. Dawn's only like left to her family was her sister and Buffy wouldn't leave her again.

They looked at Dawn who was looking at them expectantly and remember that she had asked them a question. Tara smiled at her sadly. Dawn wasn't young anymore, she needed to hear the truth. Willow grabbed Tara's hand under the table for support. "Dawn…we need to tell you something." She began quietly.

Dawn looked at them expectantly.

"I'll tell her." A voice called from the kitchen doorway.

They all turned to look at Buffy who was dirty, bruised and for all intents and purposes, looked broken. Tara nodded and not letting go of Willow's hand, they left the kitchen so the sisters could have their talk.

Buffy took the seat that Willow had been occupying and looked at her sister. She just sat there and watched her looking back. Dawn was the only thing that Buff had left. Sure she had her friends and she loved them but with her mother dead and her dad off gallivanting with his newest secretary, she only had her sister to tie her to the happy family she had once had. Who cared of Dawn had only been a Summers for a year and a bit – Buffy's memories ran longer and she felt otherwise. In the end, it was the feeling that mattered, not the truth.

Buffy took Dawn's hand from across the table and just held it. Dawn looked at their hands and then back into her sister's eyes which seemed to have lost their life. They were empty and bottomless. One could get lost in them now and it wasn't in a good way. "Buffy! What's wrong? You're scaring me."

Buffy heaved a great big sigh and averted her eyes. "We went into the graveyard yesterday." Her voice shook slightly. "At night while you were asleep."

"You were patrolling?" Dawn asked.

Buffy shook her head. "We went to Spike's crypt. Tara thought that something was wrong so we went to check it out."

Dawn was starting to look panicked and Buffy could feel it but she could do anything about it. Now that she'd started, she needed to go on or she wouldn't be able to.

"We got there too late." Buffy rasped.

Dawn pulled her hand out of Buffy and asked, voice like a nine year olds. "What do you mean?"

Tears filled Buffy's eyes again as she chocked. "The crypt exploded before we could get him out."

Dawn stood up so fast that she knocked the stool over. "But he's ok? Buffy!?" Tears filled Dawn's eyes and spilled over. "He's fine right?"

Buffy silently shook her head. She could speak anymore.

"No(!)" Dawn exclaimed quietly. "He's still alive. I'd know if he was dead." She couldn't look at Buffy. Her sister's eyes were so defeated that looking into them killed any kind of hope that she still possessed.  She turned and ran out of the kitchen door and Buffy didn't even try to stop her. She had needed this and knew exactly how Dawn felt.

Willow and Tara re-entered the kitchen. "Do you want me to go after her?" Willow asked kindly.

Buffy shook her head. "I'll ring Xander and tell her to find her later. She needs to be alone."

Willow looked torn. "Buffy, Dawn's going to go and visit Spike crypt. You know that. There is enough of you in Dawn to prove that."

Buffy looked at her friend blankly. "I'm sure she is."

Willow didn't know what to do. The cause was hopeless. She looked at Tara for help but she was just as stumped.

OXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

The front door opened a few hours later and in walked Xander and Dawn. Dawn's eyes looked red and puffy and Xander was looking uncomfortable. He probably felt out of place due to the fact that he didn't much like Spike and all of them were mourning him. He didn't know if he should be sympathetic or uninterested. Instead he opted for escape. "I found her at the park. Anya wants me back at the shop so I should go."

Tara nodded and closed the door behind him.

Dawn walked forlornly over to the couch and sat down. It seemed that she was all cried out. The sadness lingered but there was nothing physical left to show for it.

Buffy joined Dawn on the couch and Dawn looked at her. "How did he die? Who did it?"

Buffy shrugged her tiny shoulders bleakly. "I don't know and I don't know how we can find out."

"I want to kill them!" Dawn cried vehemently.

Buffy didn't respond, she felt exactly the same and if she did find them, she was going to beat them to q bloody pulp and then kill them slowly and painfully. Both Summers women were so hell bent on thinking up revenge that they didn't even notice the cloud of leaves and smoke that began swirling around at the side of the room but Willow and Tara did.

OXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

**And so endeth the chapter and _another_** **cliff-hanger. Sorry guys. Only this one should be easy to guess. Right. I'm off to my mum's Birthday party. Bye.**

**Dina**

**Review please. Oh and please don't flame.**


	11. Confessional

Disclaimer: I am tired of writing these disclaimers when it is perfectly obvious that I don't anything recognisable.

A/N: Thank you for all the reviews.

**Chapter 11: Confessional**

The leaves and smoke cleared and there stood Rayya only she wasn't alone.

Buffy heard Tara gasp and a thump that sounded uncannily like someone hitting the floor. She looked at her best friend and sure enough, she was on the floor, gaping at the other end of the room. Buffy turned to look in the direction and came face to face with the witch and a grinning blond vampire. "Spike?" She gasped.

Dawn suddenly looked up; tears filled her eyes as she took in the dusty looking vampire. Before Buffy could stop her, she had stood up, ran over to him and slapped him forcefully across the face with a resounding smack.

His head snapped back slightly. He righted himself, touching his burning cheek. "Bloody hell! I nearly get sish kebabed by some demons and I get hit for it?!"

Dawn didn't wait to explain; she threw her arms around him and hugged him hard. It was difficult to tell which one hurt him more.

"But you blew up!" Willow insisted, having realised that she was still on the floor and sat back on the couch. "We saw you in there."

"I almost blew up." He choked out, Dawn was crushing his windpipe. "Just as it blew up, Rayya got me out of there. They got my TV didn't they?"

"Um Dawn." Tara said timidly. "You may want to let him go now."

Dawn reluctantly released him and stepped back. She suddenly noticed Rayya's presence and blushed muttering and apology. "Are you like his guardian angel?"

"Excuse me." Buffy said quietly from the couch. She stood up and walked out of the house, grabbing her coat as she went. Dawn didn't miss the tears that had filled her eyes and leaked over. She bit her bottom lip. Willow and Tara collectively shook their heads, signalling her not to say anything.

Rayya knew perfectly well what was wrong and she smiled secretively. "Spike, you have to home anymore, the crypt has gone and I do not think that it is safe for you to stay in the graveyard anymore."

"I'm not helpless you know!" He growled. "I can take care of myself."

"And I am telling you that you are staying here. Understood?!" Her eyes flashed and to add to it Dawn insisted the same thing. Willow and Tara smiled happily. Rayya nodded once, said goodbye and left in her usual cloud of smoke and leaves. Dawn left the room.

"Looks like me moving back in is not going to impress Buffy. It seemed that she was upset that I hadn't kicked it…for good this time." He sighed and took up Buffy's vacated seat.

"I believe that she's just a little overwhelmed at the moment." Tara informed. "We've all spent quite a few hours believing that you were a crisp pile of dust on the floor of your wrecked crypt." Willow added. She stood up and without warning, grabbed Spike – uncomfortably as he was still sitting – and hugged him. Tara followed suit as soon as Willow let go.

"Do you know how hard it is to deal with the belief that one of your friends is dead?" Willow asked, taking a place next to him.

"I'm a friend?" Spike asked dumfounded.

Tara grinned. "You've saved our lives enough times to put you into that category."

Dawn returned with a mug of blood. "From before you left. It was still in the fridge."

Spike grabbed it greedily. "I haven't had anything to eat since last night." He finished it. "Do you think we should leave Buffy alone out there? I could go and find her."

Dawn rolled her eyes. "Spike, she's the Slayer. If anyone can handle themselves outside in the dead of night, it's her. She's done it plenty of times before."

He shrugged. "I don't care. I'm going to go and find her. Maybe I can find who tried to do me in while I'm at it."

"Do you have any clue as to who it might have been?" Dawn asked stubbornly.

Spike shook his head. "But if I kill enough of them, I might get them in the process."

"Maybe she needs to be alone right now." Tara persisted.

"And maybe she needs to talk." He stood up and left before they could impede him further.

OXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

"Damn him!" Dawn cried vehemently.

"Dawn!" Willow reprimanded. "This may be a good thing. Buffy might finally open up to him."

"Yeah." Dawn rolled her eyes. "Coz Buffy really opens up to the opposite species. After dad, Buffy stopped trusting men completely."

"Spike's different." Tara insisted. "Besides, Buffy opens up to Xander."

"Buffy thinks of Xander as a fellow female." Dawn giggled. "Not because he looks like one, because they're so close. It's a lot like the relationship between Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, they think of her as a boy."

"Must you always refer to Harry Potter?" Willow asked exasperatedly.

"Hey!" Dawn cried. "Harry Potter rules! And besides, it was a credible reason. Sometimes I feel like our life is just like theirs."

"She has a point." Tara conceded. "Does anybody else want to watch a feel good movie?"

"Oh yeah." Willow sighed and Dawn nodded vehemently.

OXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Spike ambled down the street with his hands in his pockets. He wasn't all that confident anymore, now that he was out of the comfortable glow and friendly air of the Summer's household. He had a distinct feeling that they were holding something back.

He didn't have the first clue as to where to look for her. He didn't know if she was Slaying or just taking a stroll. She could be trying her best to avoid company.

Spike decided to try the 'Magic Box' first; she may have wanted to visit Giles.

As soon as he arrived, he knew that she wasn't there. Her scent was nowhere near and he could only hear Giles, Xander and Anya inside. He didn't even bother to go in, turning around; he headed in the opposite direction.

OXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

"Do you think he'll find her?" Tara asked sceptically.

"Yes." Willow said confidently. "Vampires have this freaky ability to find humans by their scent. It's actually very gross."

Dawn giggled as she listened to both the conversation and the TV. She had a bag of popcorn and a large coke at her side. Something Buffy would never have let her do if she was there but due to the emotion that had suffused them for the last day, Tara and Willow thought it would be nice for her to enjoy herself. "Maybe she'll stop being childish now and tell him how she really feels. Unless she kills him for worrying her unnecessarily." She said anxiously.

"Come on." Tara said warmly. "Let's finish watching this movie."

OXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Spike was suddenly struck with such a strong scent of her. He hadn't realised where he was walking. He knew these streets so well that his legs just took themselves while he let his mind wander.

He finally gathered his bearings and took in his surroundings. He stood outside the cemetery where his crypt had once resided. He could now see the remains of it. He could also see Buffy sitting there among it. She looked desolate and fragile.

He walked slowly inside, hoping that she didn't hear him because she was most likely to attack, no matter how bleak she looked. He stopped behind her and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. She turned her head to look at his hand and hissed. "Don't touch me."

Spike sighed and removed his hand. "Well will you at least talk to me?"

She stood up and turned to face him, the tears were very obvious. "What makes you think that you deserve it? I believed that you were dead. You let me believe it!"

"I thought that you didn't care about me." He retorted.

The slow tears erupted into full blown, gut wrenching sobs as she launched herself at him. He almost toppled over from the force of the collision. She clung onto him and he slowly and uncertainly wrapped his arms around her. "You left me! I thought you left me, just like everybody else." She pounded his chest forcefully as she said it, wanting to inflict physical pain to ease her emotional pain; just like last time.

"Hey, hey." He soothed grabbing hold of her hands. "I would never intentionally leave you. You know that." He pulled back so he could look at her distraught face.

"I treated you horribly." She continued, hurting herself. "I was a cow to you and then you didn't even know that I loved you before you died."

"You love me?" He asked. He didn't know if he believed her. His world was suddenly thrown off kilter. Willow and Tara had called him their friend and now Buffy was saying that she loved him. If he was in another dimension, he would like to stay here.

Buffy looked at him stunned. Processing what she had just said to him. "I just said that didn't I?"

Spike's hopes were suddenly dashed. Any minute now, she would take it back. Put it down to something that was said in the heat of the moment.

"Yes Spike. I love you." I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it.

"I love you too." He couldn't keep the grin off of his face. He reached up and wiped the tears from her face off. Buffy wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. They didn't know how long they stayed there like that but it suddenly dawned on Buffy that Dawn, Tara and Willow didn't know where. They wouldn't worry but it also wasn't polite to keep them guessing. "I guess that we have to get home."

"Oh right." He smiled sheepishly. "Rayya told me that I have to stay at your house again."

Buffy mock scowled. "I'm beginning to wonder who really has a say in that house; me or a witch who has no legal rights to it."

"Are you complaining?" He asked. "Because I could just go and live with Clem. It would serve him right after not realising that my crypt was bugged while in his care. It's his fault too you know."

"No." She smiled and kissed him again. "I guess I can put up with another house guest."

"But where will I sleep? My legs work now you know." He asked cockily.

Buffy shook her head. "Don't push your luck. You're back on that couch."

OXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Buffy and Spike re-entered the house twenty minutes later amidst an audience. Dawn, Willow and Tara were looking at the pair expectantly.

"Hmmm." Willow observed. "I thought that we wouldn't see then until just before dawn – not pun intended Dawn."

"Ha ha." Dawn said sarcastically. "Are they together?" Dawn whispered to Tara; not completely sure. Tara shrugged.

"Are you going to keep us waiting or do you just want us to burst with the anticipation?" Dawn yelled.

Buffy smiled cheekily and kissed Spike forcefully, amid whoops and screams of delight. They even came from Tara which was surprising.

OXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

**Ok, now I have a problem. Should this be the end or should I carry on? I just didn't know if I should end it or not so some input from you would help. Thanks.**

**Dina**


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